camp love

On the airplane to Texas, Madison turned to her dad and expressed her fears.

"Do you think they'll like me?  Do you think I'll make friends?"

She was excited to go to fly on an airplane to Texas.  She was really looking forward to spending time with her cousins.  Based on the camp website, she knew she'd have fun swimming in the lake and all the other activities the camp boasted, but ultimately she knew she was the outsider.

All the other girls most likely went to school together, and church together, and had probably known each other for years.   Maddie is friendly and ougoing, but she was still nervous.

So her dad gave her a big hug, and the best possible advice,  "Just be your sweet self, and they will love you."

Plus, it was a long time to be away.  Nine days. The longest she had ever been away from home.  I called her that first night that she had arrived at her cousins' house, and she asked me to please call her every day that she was not at camp.  

So, she was a little nervous. 

Turns out her fears were unwarranted.

"I had so much fun!  Everybody was so sweet and so nice, I made so many friends, and one of the leaders even offered to adopt me if I ever want to move to Texas!" (I guess she offered several times)

Even the animals loved her.  Her cousins have three labs, and she said they tried to sleep with her at night, and one of them would freak out and try and "rescue her" every time she she swam in their pool and left the safety of the wall.

She could have done without the love of one creature though.  She came home covered in "chigger" bites. Hundreds of bites all over her body. She thinks she was the only girl to get bit that much.  I guess her flesh is as sweet as her personality.

We're all glad she had fun, but boy, was she missed. 

After several days, Zach sat quietly on the couch, then turned to me and said, "It's just not the same without Maddie."

The next day, out of the blue, Christopher came up to me and said, "Time for Sissy come home."

Nick even made a little Welcome Home poster for her.   Which is cute cause that would be something Maddie would do.  He tried to think of something she would appreciate.

Anyway, we are happy to have her home.   It's not looking so good for that lady who offered to adopt her, there are several people here in Arizona who wouldn't be too happy about that.

A letter to all the Judgy McJudgerson's.

I've had something rattling around in my brain for awhile that I can't seem to get out of my head.   I've put off talking about it because maybe the anger and annoyance would fade, but it really hasn't.  Of course I am assuming that no long time readers of my blog are guilty of this offense, because while I am not the overly gushy type (never have been) and I don't feel the need to share every sweet gesture, I still think I put it out there that I have a happy marriage.

And I know it shouldn't bother me, but there are apparently some people out there who feel the need to question John's motives in traveling so much.  John won't tell me who (probably because he knows I may or may not be prone to holding grudges) but apparently over the past few months he has actually been approached by people who have either heard other people talking "He must not love his wife/family because he travels so much..." or he has been asked directly "So, do you travel so much because you want to get away from your wife/family?"

First off, how dare they?!?!  Who do they think they are to make judgments like that? 

Secondly, and I can't decide which title annoys me more, if he is supposedly traveling so much to get away from me, does that make me some kind of horrible shrew, or a pathetic victim?  Are they saying, "Well no wonder he travels so much, I would too if I were married to her..."?  Or are they imagining me crying my eyes out begging him not to go? 

I guess if I had to pick I'd take shrew.  My pride certainly won't allow me to be a victim.

I think that God must have known what kind of marriage I'd have, and gave me the qualities to be able to deal with it.  From day one I was not a cuddler.  Just ask my mom.  I wanted to be held up on her shoulder to see what was going on.  From an early age my mother would also describe me as "precocious and independent."   Of course as time went on, I think those descriptions changed slightly to "stubborn and independent", but my point is, from an early age I think I developed personality traits that would serve me well later on.

And then later on in high school, I didn't date a lot, and after seeing how miserable my parents were, I decided that marriage wasn't for me. I really honestly and truly never had any intention of getting married.

Fortunately for me, God had other plans for my life, and sent me John, and I have been ever grateful to Him for that.

Anyway, what I am trying to say is that I don't sit at home crying my eyes out counting the minutes until he comes home.  Yes, I do miss him.  Yes, I am happier when he is here.  But believe me when I say, I don't sit around feeling sorry for myself. 

Quite the contrary.  I am proud of John.  He's a little too humble to tell you himself, but he's a freaking genius and there are only a handful of other people in the country who can do what he does.   He designs and implements multi million dollar computer storage systems for some of the biggest companies in the country, including the government.   The customers love him.  He gets job offers every where he goes.  He's honest, friendly, works hard, and treats others with respect.  He knows his stuff and has dozens of certifications to prove it.  Speaking of certifications, any time another one comes up, John is always at the top of the list to take it because he can do it quickly.  He practically has a photographic memory and can read hundreds of pages of technical jargon, pass a test and go on to the next one.  Sometimes he teaches classes, and the students like him because he's a good teacher and really knows his stuff.  Every week is something different, and it doesn't matter if he is taking a class, teaching a class, helping to sell equipment to cranky Four Star Generals, or working with the customers to implement or maintain equipment, he does it to the best of his ability.  (Which is pretty impressive.  He might be modest, but occasionally he will brag to me about an email some customer sent a Vice President or so about how impressed they were with John.)

Last month on mother's day I was sitting in church listening to a man give a talk.  The talk was naturally about wives and mothers, and he was discussing ways to honor them.  One point he made was to be the best employee the company you work for has ever had.  I elbowed John, not to say "Hey, are you listening?" but to say, "That's you."

The fact of the matter is, employment is not at it's highest.   The economy could be heading for a full blown depression. You never know.  The company he works for is currently doing well, hiring even, but YOU NEVER KNOW.  John does his best every day to make sure that if layoffs ever become a reality, his head will be one of the very last on the chopping block.  I am very grateful for that.  I can sleep well at night that for the foreseeable future, we have job security.

So, yes, he could get a job that wouldn't require him to travel so much, or at all.  Many of those jobs require us to move to places like Washington DC, and the commute alone would ensure we wouldn't see that much of him then either.  I am sure there is something available here in Gilbert, but in all honesty, and without exaggeration,  that would be like a gourmet chef taking a job at a McDonalds. (And that goes without saying that the new guys are always the first to be laid off...)

Besides, for the most part, he LOVES what he does.  He has mentioned that if he could have one power from the Harry Potter books, he would pick Apparition, hands down. (if you don't know what I am talking about- go read the books.)  Occasionally when he is feeling less than thrilled about getting on another airplane and sleeping in another hotel, I ask him,  "Would you rather trade that all in for a cubicle (and the monotony that goes with it)? "  The last time I asked him this, his response was, "I'd rather blow my brains out."

So there you have it.  Being a sometime single parent is better than a full time widow. 

When I asked my kids how they felt, the unanimous consensus was that they love and miss their dad, and wish he could be home more, BUT they understand it's part of his job, they are proud of him too, and they KNOW he loves them.

So I guess what I am trying to say to those who would judge, is to back off. You don't know anything.

Girls camp in Texas

Last summer we spent a week with John's sister and her family.  We had a lot of fun and kept busy, but in between all the fun activities and trying to keep up with seven hungry kids, John's sister Corrine spent most of her free moments on a computer trying to account for every dollar she spent on food for girl's camp last year.  She was in charge of all the cooking, and therefore all the shopping, and because she was so involved in trying to reconcile the budget, we heard all sorts of stories about the meals she cooked for a whole Stake full of 12-17 year old girls.  Every day had it's own theme, with decorations to match- Chinese, Mexican, American, and of course, Texan. (I might not have those quite correct, I was listening, but not necessarily taking notes). 

Anyway, Madison just was just beside herself.  She was only 11 1/2, and it was killing her that she wasn't old enough to go to camp.  I think at one point the conversation went something like this (I'm totally paraphrasing, it was like a year ago)

Madison-  "Oh man!  That sounds so awesome!  I wish I could go! You're the best cook and the food sounds so good and everything else sounds so fun and wonderful!"

Corrine- "Well since you are my most favorite niece in the whole wide world, you are always welcome to come any time!"

(okay, so she didn't actually say the part about her being her favorite niece, but she was probably thinking it Ü)

So fast forward almost a year, when we learned that they weren't having girls camp because of trek. (pioneer reenactment for 14-17 year olds)   Yes, they were doing beehive camp (12 and 13 year olds), but one night at beehive camp just isn't the same as 4-5 days at a regular girls camp.  So we thought we'd see if that offer for Madison to go to camp in Texas with her cousin was still valid.

Obviously it was, since I'm blogging about it.

We shipped Maddie off yesterday.  John flew with her on his way to DC, and spoiled her (almost) rotten. I guess they were flying some other airline (we prefer Delta or Southwest) and so he used up all his frequent flyer miles with them upgrading her to first class.  And he bought her a Cinnabon for breakfast.   She's in her dress because she had to go straight from the airport to church with them.

She's having fun and really excited for camp.  She met the other beehives at church, and says they are all really nice and sweet.

The only issue so far is that I forgot to put the SD card back in her camera.   Corrine said she'd take care of it and let her use one of their cards, but last I talked to Corrine it wasn't working right, and Madison doesn't seem to know where her camera is, or whether Corrine was able to get it to work or not.  Corrine has already left for camp since she is responsible for keeping a whole camp full of girls fed, she needs to get up there early and get prepared.  (so I am sure Madison's camera issues don't rank high on her list of things she's worried about)  So hopefully Madison will have some pictures to go with the stories.

summer so far...

We've been doing our best to keep pretty busy.

(Even if it does seem like the wii is on 24/7)

Nick spent a week at EFY.  Hopefully he will blog about that soon.  All I know is he had a lot of fun, ate lots of ice cream, made lots of new friends, and has been texting (girls) alot since he came home.  (until he got his phone taken away that is)  He went back up to Provo.  He'd been dreaming about their ice cream all year, so he wouldn't even entertain the thought of going anywhere else.  With only a couple years of EFY eligibility left however, I think I have him talked into picking a different location for next year Ü.

Nick is in the back row on the right, in the red shirt (which reads 24601- fyi)

Now his life is English.  (Hey, Nick, don't procrastinate or you'll find yourself spending your summer break doing homework. I mean, that's got to royally suck, doesn't it?)

Since I am a horrible and mean mom, and wouldn't let Madison drop orchestra to take drama next year, I had promised to look into having her take some kind of drama camp during the summer.  Fortunately for her, it all worked out well, and that's what she has been doing the past two weeks.  She's making friends and having fun.  Today is her last day, and although she is sad and will miss her friends, I am not sad to not be driving TWO HOURS A DAY to get her two and from her camp.

She also did a quick over nighter beehive camp a couple weeks ago.  Since all the older kids are going on the Trek later this summer, there is no full Girl's camp this year.  She had fun, learned about things like chlorophyll, came home dirty and exhausted, with a smile on her face, and that's what it's all about, right?

Christopher has swim lessons every morning through the town of Gilbert.  I mostly think these lessons are a waste except they get him in the pool and he has fun.   After a couple of days I had to walk over and tell the teen aged teacher that Christopher was just messing with him.  He will do the exact bare minimum you ask of him and he needs to pushed.

I also signed Zach up for the swim team.  He can swim laps, and it's good exercise and gives him something to do.  He likes it.  We haven't bothered with any of the meets yet.  Maybe next week.  This week the meet was all about the breast stroke.  He begged not to go.  I told him I didn't blame him, I always hated the breast stroke myself. (Besides I kinda think the meets are pretty boring, and wasn't thrilled to go myself.  In all honesty, Zach didn't have to beg that hard.)

 Other than that...not much.  Trying to stay out of the heat as much as possible.  (and it's only June!) I have taken the kids to the public pool a few times.  I like to go at night. There's a pool that's open Monday and Wednesdays from 7-9 pm. It's less crowded, no chance of sunburns, and it's not so hot that I have to get in.  I always find a chair and read a book.  It's pretty much a win-win.

School's out

The end of the school year was rough for me, and not just because I was faced with two long months of kids home all day with seemingly nothing better to do than play on the wii, watch tv, fight, argue with each other, annoy each other (and me) all the while whining at me that they were bored and my suggestions of reading or getting in extra practicing on their instruments or cleaning something aren't going over very well.

No, that's not why I was dreading the end of the school year.

It had been such a good year for my kids, I was sad to see it end.

Madison promoted from the 6th grade.  She'd had a great year and really loved her teacher.  (Actually, teachers, as she switched classes for science and reading) 

I found a blog post from the beginning of the school year where it said Maddie was nervous for 6th grade.  I pointed it out to her and she couldn't believe it.  "What was I thinking?!?!?"  Now she's nervous for 7th grade, and to tell you the truth, I am too. Seventh grade is a whole new world.  And not always in a good way. 

Besides his issues with his former friends that were in his class, (most of that is still not resolved with little end in sight) Zach was sad to see the year end.  He even cried himself to sleep (actually sobbed is a more accurate word) the night before the last day of school.  He was going to miss his teacher.

The end of the year wasn't so hard for Nick, he'll miss some teachers and friends, but I think he was mostly just happy to be done.  Except he's still not done.  He still has his online English class, and although we knew that he wouldn't finish it before the end of the school year, exactly how much he has to do has recently come to light. (Grrrr- I really don't want to talk about it or I might say something I regret later) Anyway, it still feels like school is in session.  "Do your homework...Do your homework...Do your homework..."

Christopher is the one though that I had the hardest time with.  He's the reason school has been out for weeks and I haven't been able to write about it until now.

I kept myself in check, and didn't allow myself to think about it until I got this note-

from this sweet lady-

She is one of the assistants in his class.  She sent it home a few days before school got out, and I couldn't even think of it without sobbing my eyes out for a week.  Of course she wasn't the only one.  This is his teacher Mrs Rush. Every morning Christopher would say, "I go kindergarten.  I go see Miss Rush." ( I got a similar note from her as well)

Kindergarten was so good for Christopher.  And he spent hours working closely with these women who loved him and mothered him and helped him with things that I couldn't do for him.  And now the year was over and I was just supposed to say, "Here's a gift card and some caramels, thanks for the memories, see ya!"?  Just like that, The End?  I don't like it.

On the last day of school I stopped by to take pictures of Christopher with his teachers, and held it together until almost the very last.  And then I full on burst into tears in front of both Mrs Rush and Miss Michelle and the kids in the class. (I think I scared at least one of the kids and probably one or more of the teachers. )  They made sure we knew that Christopher could come back and visit any half day of the year.  And to please do so.

Christopher hugged both his teachers, then walked out without so much as a glance backward. Clearly he's not as sentimental as I am.

swimming

This post serves two purposes-

1) to post this cute picture of Christopher and his favorite swim teacher, Kelsey.  She just quit to pursue a career in teaching.  :(  She was awesome.  She was exactly what Christopher needed.  Christopher will do the very minimum required and sometimes even less.  He will try and convince you he can't do it.  She didn't put up with his crap and pushed him past his comfort zone.  She made him cry. (Because the anxiety of doing something that he's uncomfortable doing makes him cry.) But then she would hug him love him and give him high fives and teach him that he could do hard things.  We'll miss her.

2) to see if the picture will even post, and this was the quickest and easiest post I could think of.  I just tried to update a picture on Nick's blog and blogger told me I was out of space.  What?!?!? Since when are there limits?  And to continue, I will need to buy more space.  I'll have to pay a monthly fee to blog.  Grrrr.

- update 2 minutes later.  I guess it posted okay.  So I don't know what is up with Nick's blog. weird.  I guess I don't have to ponder the demise of this blog today.(because paying would really irritate me)

Happy Birthday Christopher

My baby turned 6 yesterday.

Of course, if you had stopped by, you wouldn't know it.  It was his birthday except not one of us even wished him a happy birthday.  Not Once.

And it wasn't on accident.  I didn't forget.  I even fielded phone calls from grandparents.  "Oh, you can talk to him, just don't you dare say the "B word".

Is that terrible?

We were extra nice to him, the kids let him have more turns with the wii.  I took them to McDonalds and let him go in and play for awhile.  Not something I usually do.  (In fact it was a little funny as the boys were playing, Madison looked at me and said "You were smart to bring a book."  I replied that it comes from years of experience, then asked her if she was too old to play on the equipment. "Ew gross. Who knows when the last time that thing was cleaned?" - sniff. They grow up so fast.)

And then, just because it's not a birthday without cake, I took them all to one of those fancy cupcake bakeries and let them each pick out an overpriced cupcake.

Of course later that day, Zach said to me, "It's actually really sad, mom.  I mean it's his birthday and he doesn't even know it."

Yes it is pretty sad, and what kind of mother doesn't even wish her baby a "Happy Birthday" on his birthday?

Don't answer that.

The thing is, we bought him his birthday present weeks ago.  John wanted to "have him fitted" for a bike. His old bike was getting too little, and we thought a new bike would be a good present, but we weren't sure what size to get him, so since John was taking a couple bikes in to get tuned up for their big triathlon, he thought he'd take Christopher in and have him test drive a couple bikes. I knew that if we let Christopher even get on a bike, we would be walking out of there with one, and voiced my concerns since his birthday wasn't for at least a month, and I was right.  He's been riding his birthday present around for several weeks now.

ALSO (and more importantly) Both John and Nick are out of town, and they would want to be here to celebrate AND the second the B Word would leave my lips, then Christopher would be expecting his cake and presents. With the other kids I could say "Hey, your dad really wishes he could be here, but he has to work, would you mind terribly if we waited two whole days to celebrate your birthday?" and they would be okay with it.

So that's what we're gonna do.  Tomorrow.  When John returns from work (actually he's coming in tonight) And Nick gets back from EFY and Madison returns from Beehive camp. (It's just a one night thing)