first, do no harm

I've made no secret in the past of my frustration with Nick's performance at school. In some ways it's getting better, in other ways, not so. When he was younger, in first grade, he was such a happy cheerful, bright, intelligent kid. (Still is) His teacher, Miss Wong, called him her little song bird because he whistled happy little tunes all the time, even during class time when he wasn't supposed to. His desk was against the wall away from other kids because he couldn't keep his hands to himself- touching, feeling, poking, driving his Scooby-Doo Mystery Machine lunchbox on the kids near him until I was asked not to send it to school any more. Despite the fact that the teacher obviously cared for him, and recommended him to take the ALP test (which he passed) he still ended up "flipping his card" each and every day to "double red" (green-yellow-red-double red).

We moved to a new house and a new school in the second grade- The behavior issues got slowly better over the years, but back then his grades would be good, but the citizenship part of his report cards was far from acceptable for awhile there. At first he had a hard time making friends, but he has found a few really good friends that are the kinds of friends you'd pick for your own kid if you got the chance, and I am so grateful they are a part of his life. It seems though that it's a different story for most of the other kids in his grade however. He tends to be a bully magnet and a loner, and spends most recesses by himself reading. I can't tell you the number of conversations he has had with me that start something like this: "there's this boy/girl in my class who hates me...". He thinks maybe it's partly just left-over irritation with him from younger grades. This bothers me and I am not sure what I can do about it, but just remind him what a great kid I think he is, and tell him the other kids are missing out. He has a positive attitude and it doesn't have any effect on his love of school and learning, for which I am grateful.

Our biggest struggle lately however has been his grades. They seem to slowly getting worse and worse as the years go on. As the teachers stop babysitting and hand holding and the kids are expected to take responsibility for themselves he doesn't seem to be stepping up to the bat. It's frustrating. I have this great kid of whom I am very proud to be his mother, who has been officially classified by the schools as "gifted", but his ALP teacher doesn't think he fits the "accelerated" label because he's not organized, and "maybe he would just feel more successful if he quit ALP". Who loves school, who reads his whole Social Studies textbook in three weeks and then asks the teacher if she has another one cause he's "done with this one", but went from an A+ to an F in Social Studies for not turning in any assignments for more than a month. Who wants to go to a good college and study history or science, but has an F in science. Who would rather read than do almost anything, but has an F in reading. Who says he loves the viola, but his viola teacher (whom we love) has threatened to kick him out of private lessons because after many months he just hasn't shown any improvement which is the result of his lack of adequate practicing.

What's a mother to do? I KNOW he's bright enough, and capable enough. I've bribed, grounded, threatened, screamed, yelled, lectured, taken all his books away, made promises, begged, cried, pleaded, helped him organize his desk at school and home, helped with homework, met with teachers, bought every organizational thing I could think of, checked snapgrades daily, rewarded, hugged, kissed, praised, bought his own set of textbooks to keep at home so "forgetting" them is never an option, sought advice from friends, family, strangers, prayed, and still...Nothing seems to work.

The other day I posed a series of questions to him "Do you like school? You like your teachers? You think school is important? Do you want to go to college? Get a degree? Get a good job? Do you really think these things, or are you just telling me what you think I want to hear but secretly have plans of being a starving artist or a famous rock star or a super star athlete and so you don't need a formal education?" (and then I started getting ridiculous) "Do you drink? Do drugs? Are you suicidal? Are your parents getting a divorce? Did somebody you love just die?" Most of those questions were met with a totally incredulous look, or total offense, but I explained I just needed to cover all my bases. Maybe I'm missing something, but generally speaking, a kid as smart as he is shouldn't be failing school for NO REASON.

And so today we took the first step that has been a long time coming. We went to see a specialist. Apparently these days the pediatricians don't hand out Ritalin like candy anymore, they're careful, and refer you to somebody better trained to make those kinds of decisions. They're slow to dish out the meds, which is good I think. So far he's been diagnosed as "borderline ADD", and they've suggested things like Omega 3 fish oil, and a website with helpful hints, and we have another appointment to go back for more testing in a month. I'm glad they are taking it slow. I've fought this decision for a very long time. I didn't come to it easily. John and I have discussed it off and on, and we've finally decided that it's worth a shot, and better to try this out now than later on in his life. His second grade teacher had pushed for it, but to me it felt like laziness on her part. "I don't want to deal with your child, please medicate him so he's easier for me." A friend of mine who was also a teacher at that time confirmed my suspicions when she said- "Absolutely that's what she's after. I think they should put Ritalin in the drinking fountains. "

Fifteen to twenty years ago, Ritalin was the favorite drug of doctors, teachers, and moms alike. My brother was on it for years and he hated it. He hated the way it made him feel. It left him feeling depressed and suicidal. He liked being off it because he could feel something- joy, rage. A lot of rage. He needed it though. He had so many problems and we think the medicine is responsible for him even graduating from high school. As siblings we were also cruel. He was the little brother, and anytime he was remotely irritating we'd say things like "Go take your Ritalin, you're bugging me." We treated him as though we didn't want to be around him unless he was on his medicine. He wasn't accepted for who he was underneath it all. I feel terrible about that, and the thought of my own kid ever feeling that way hurts.

But I don't know what else to do. Next year he'll be in jr. high. At that means new friends, new opportunities, honors classes, and every thing gets harder. And if he can't keep track of his homework now, I don't want to know what next year will bring.

I have to try. I have to do something. I want to see him be the person he's capable of, and bring home a report card he can be proud of. I want to see him achieve his dreams, whatever they are, and I just pray I am doing more good than harm....

Baby-sitters club

I'm loving this babysitting club thing I just became a part of. Not really like those books from my childhood, it's way, way better. It's not a job, it's freedom. Sure, I have to do my part, which is only to stay home 3 hours a week (Monday afternoons) and watch little kids for other moms who need a baby-sitter. I earn tickets- 1 per half hour, per child, which I can turn around and use whenever I need a sitter for Christopher. We start off with 30 tickets, and the idea is to try and maintain about 30. You should spend your tickets at about the same rate you use them. It's awesome. The best part is that it's totally guilt free- as long as I have tickets I can drop my kid off, walk away and do whatever I want without feeling I am taking advantage of somebody who might have better things to do with their time besides watch my kid while I go shopping, get my hair done, etc. I generally hate asking other people to watch my kids, but there have been times- Dr.'s appointments, volunteering at school, that I have desperately needed help and so would ask then, but I still felt bad about it. The good part about John's job is that when he is in town he can work from home and sometimes he can help me out, but he is supposed to be working, or on conference calls, and it's not all that easy or convenient for him either, which I feel bad about too.
But now, the guilt is all gone. It's liberating. I haven't used it a whole lot, only twice in two weeks so far, and that's ok, I'm not looking to dump my kid off on someone else all the time, just when I need to, or need to casually peruse a book store all by myself and regain a bit of my sanity. Also I seem to have picked a day and time that isn't in demand for a babysitter. Between just getting started, last Monday being a holiday, and yesterday, I've only babysat 2 little girls.

I don't know who the genius was that came up with this idea, but boy am I ever grateful that she had the idea, and it filtered down to my neck of the woods, and I have a friend motivated enough to organize it in my neighborhood.

Just a side note- a friend of mine was telling me her husband was looking at the tickets and was like "I could totally make counterfeit tickets and sell them to the moms at church!"- which of course totally defeats the guilt-free, do your part, fair trade of service idea.

Another side note- you'd think I would be able to keep my two blogs separate, being as one is about FOOD and the other one ANY OTHER RANDOM THING THAT POPS INTO MY BRAIN, but somehow I still manage to get them mixed up and try to post things (like this post for instance) to the wrong blog. Duh.

Newsflash!!! Hard work pays off!

Maddie has always been my creative girl, I think they'd say left brained, or maybe I got that backwards, but she's always been quite the singer, the dancer, the artist, the dreamer. She loves school, and the teachers always have glowing reports "she's so sweet... she's so quiet... she's so kind...she's such a doll..." All things a mother loves to hear, but early on we started sensing a pattern.

In kindergarten at the first parent teacher meeting, the teacher informed us that she only knew one letter of the alphabet (the letter M- go figure). In first grade they were supposed to pass off their addition and subtraction facts- she never really got past three's. By the end of first grade a standardized test told us what we already knew- she was only reading at a kindergarten level.

I had worked with her, but I was starting to realize I was out of my league. We were able to find a tutor at a reasonable (relatively anyway) price, and were able to get in to get some help that summer between first and second grades. We're still there. Once a week. Almost every week.

It's been nearly two years now, and things have steadily improved. She's a hard worker and sometimes it's been hard to see her struggle so. Earlier this year her comment to me was "I just don't get it mom, I'm doing my very best, so how come I'm only getting a B in math?" However, things seem to be looking up. Last week when I went to teach the art masterpiece lesson in her class, the teacher pulled me aside to show me her latest math test- she was one of two kids with 100%. And this week she came home with another 100%- she said she was the only one this time. I'm so proud of her.

Maybe it's just me

Or maybe it's just Target. I don't know. What I do know is that it is nearly impossible to find something to fit my very average sized 9 year old daughter. John said I had these issues when Nick was nine, and I get a very de-ja-vu-ish feeling about it, but I don't really remember.

Anyway, back to my rant. For her birthday last month we gave Madison a couple skirts. Actually Grandma sent us money and we picked out the present, so technically they are from Grandma, but I purchased these two skirts from a friend of mine who was selling them at a Boutique awhile ago. I thought they were very cute, and since Madison gets a lot of her wardrobe from Target, along with many of the other kids around here, I thought something different would be fun. The problem is is that she needed a top to go with them. One skirt was white and black, and the other red and black, so I figured I could just get one black top to go with both. Simple enough, right? Wrong!

Did you know that at Target a Medium is sizes 7-8, and a Large is 10-12? There is nothing in the middle. So I am faced with choosing something for my very average 9 year old that will either also fit 7 year olds, or 12 year olds. This probably wouldn't be difficult if she weren't smack dab in the middle of her size bracket. She's not too small, tall, skinny, or fat. I'm not sure if other stores have this issue, I haven't looked recently.

Of course I picked the "too big" size. I can at least take comfort in the fact that it should fit her for several more years. Maybe I just need to get out more, and expand my current clothing sources past Target and Kohl's. (Kohl's didn't have anything I liked) or maybe Target needs to come up with some kind of Medium-plus size before Zach turns nine. Then again, he's a big boy, maybe we will just jump from 7-8 to 10-12.

More sleeping kids

Remember that I have a mild fascination with the odd positions and places in which my kids fall asleep? I have a couple more for you (me, I realize, but I like to pretend that other people find it as entertaining as I do.)

Here's the latest of the younger two- my older two seem to have figured out that the best place to sleep is their own beds. Go figure.

And my personal favorite- (and yes he is very much unconscious- he's pulled that blanket over his head and fallen asleep more times than I can count)If you enjoyed those as much as I did, and you missed the original post last May- you can check out my original sleeping kids post (click me-> here <-click me) (which by the way I spent HOURS on tracking down and scanning in half of those pictures)

Thoughts/Questions of the day

Why is it pre-pubescent boys sound alot like their mothers? I need to remember this next time I call a friend with a 12 year old son and say "Hey, are we still going out today?" That question might be construed as a pick-up line. When the laughter and shouts of "Guess what? Nick's mom just asked me out!" dies down, at least I can reply "It's not my fault you sound like a girl!"

MLK day isn't the best day to visit a fairly new large-ish park for the first time. Too difficult with the crowds trying to keep eight kids in sight and talk to friend who drove out from Maricopa to hang out for the afternoon.

Should I ever go back to Tumbleweed Park, bring things like Christopher's big wheel so he won't have to resort to stealing every other one he sees.

Nick is getting too big for parks. When did that happen?

I'm not sure if it was a bee, hornet, or wasp, but I am not sorry it's life ended so abruptly under the sole of my friend's shoe today after it stung/bit me today. I can't remember ever being stung before, but wow did that hurt. (Still does) At least I remembered where I was (at a park surrounded by dozens of young kids, including all of my own) so I managed to keep the exclamations spewing loudly from my mouth to a G rating. PG tops. "OW! OW! OW! Fetchin', Freaking, Golly-Gee, Dang Nabbit, OW!"

False Advertising

Ok, so I admit it, I was just going for dramatic effect. Those pictures aren't actually Connecticut, they are some small town in Switzerland. I got an e-mail awhile ago from John during the time that we were fantasizing about all the places we could live in Europe. Every time I would watch another Rick Steves' Europe show on PBS, I would announce that that was where I wanted to live. England, France, Germany, Belgium, Austria, Italy, Switzerland.... the list goes on and on. I must have been on a Switzerland kick, because he sent me this e-mail, and added the question "do you still want to live in Switzerland?"

John was still freezing his tail off, he said when he went to the airport the outside temp was -20. But he didn't have a camera since I confiscated his since the demise of my own, and these pictures were better anyway, so these are the ones I used. The pictures are from a town named Versoix, and the water in the background is Leman Lake. Here's a couple other pictures. So, uh, sorry about that.

The best smell in the whole world

I was woken up this morning to the sound of Madison's sweet little voice, "Mommy, time to get up. Breakfast is ready." I groaned inwardly as I rolled over to look at the alarm clock. Nine am? Seriously? I was too tired for it to be that late. I had had a rough night with Christopher. We are at this terrible stage where if he takes a nap in the afternoon, he is going to be up late. Well last night as John and I walked into the kitchen we found Christopher asleep on the tile floor. After a three hour nap, he was fired up and ready to go. He went to bed sometime around 2:00. Ugh. So I lay there with my eyes closed having an internal debate with myself, "I'd rather sleep. I don't care about breakfast. John made french toast yesterday anyway. I'd happily eat cold cereal for another hour of sleep...It is 9:00, I already did get to sleep in, and we have to get ready for church... " And then I smelled it. The best smell in the whole world, the smell of bacon in the morning. I wouldn't be able to sleep now if I tried.

I sat there eating my bacon, feeling totally spoiled and thought about last weekend when I felt the same way. Last Saturday night John was heading off to the grocery store and wanted to know what I had planned for dinner the next night. John was going out of town the next morning, and wanted to make sure he was leaving us with enough to get by until I made it to the store. Meal planning being a total weakness of mine, I had nothing planned, and the fact that I was still totally stuffed from dinner, nothing sounded good anyway. "I don't care," I said. "Whatever". So John took Madison to the store and she picked out a box of frozen chicken cordon bleu.

The next day I came home from church exhausted. I thought "I'll just lay down for a few minutes..." Next thing I know (2 hours later) Nick is standing over me, "Mom, dinner is ready. I made it all by myself." I went downstairs to find the table set, and the chicken ready, and peas and corn to go with it. He even said "If you look closely you can see the little holes where I used the thermometer to make sure each one was 165 degrees." It's enough to make a mom cry.

Spoiled? Not me.

Like Father, Like Son

wimpy and proud of it

I was talking on the phone with John today, he's currently in Connecticut taking some kind of training class. This particular class is at some casino (I didn't even know they had any in Connecticut) and so it's an "all inclusive" kind of thing. He sleeps there, eats there, and attends the class there. He was telling me how he's feeling kind of bad because he rented a car for the week, but drove it straight from the airport, and it's been parked in the garage all week. I guess cab fare would have been $150 each way, and the rental is only $135 (thank heavens work pays for this stuff). At any rate he thought it was kind of a waste to pay for the week, but just have it sit there all week. I offered up the suggestion that if he had any extra time before he should just take it for a drive or something. "No way. It's supposed to snow like 10 inches or something."

"So. You know how to drive in snow."

"It's supposed to get down to like 8 degrees."

"Doesn't your car have a heater?"

"Well, yeah, and the heated seats are pretty nice. But I don't want to. It's still too cold out."

"What are you some kind of wimp?'

"Yes."

Remember how I said he hasn't left the building since he got there? Well, he's the guy walking around in layers- undershirt, t-shirt, sweater, and a fleece jacket that never comes off. (He said he's seen people walking around in t-shirts and shorts) He confessed that people keep asking him where he's from. Before he was from Arizona, he was from the cold, and snow, and winters where the temperatures dipped below zero, and skiing black diamonds courses, and hiding behind snow piles to throw snowballs at cars, and sledding, and shoveling snow, and spending all day out in it, and driving in snowstorms, and laughing at people who were from warmer climates who had a hard time adjusting. Oh how the mighty have fallen. I told him I was gonna blog about it. His response was "Who can you make fun of if you can't make fun of your husband?" Guess I have no room to talk. Those seat warmers in my car are really nice when the temps dip below 60. At any rate, he's looking forward to being back home in the valley of the sun tomorrow.

I ♥ e-bay

So a week ago in my I ♥ Disney post I mentioned a certain Goofy watch. A backwards running Goofy Watch. This backwards running Goofy watch- This is the exact same watch I had in high school. I loved that watch. It was awesome. Besides being different and unique, my favorite part about it was the reactions it got. Picture this- a clockless room, a much younger and skinnier version of me preoccupied with something- reading a book, working on homework, writing something in my Franklin Day Planner, talking to a friend, fantasizing about some cute boy I don't have the nerve to talk to.... Someone notices the watch on my wrist and asks me what time it is. I have two choices- I could briefly glance at it and tell them, or I could just show it to them. Guess which one I always picked.

My BFF Jamie was the best. Her response was always very colorful to say the least. "Just tell me what %@*!&^ time it is! You know I can't read that #^$!@* thing!" Good Times.

Soooo, after reminiscing on my beloved watch, I checked e-bay just for fun. And there it was. Totally vintage from the early 90's, used, slight scratches on the face, but has a new watch band and battery, and runs great. $20. It came in the mail today. Can you tell I'm excited?

why you didn't see me on American Idol tonight

This is the first year I have actually made an attempt to watch American Idol from day one. I didn't actually get into it until way late in the season last year, so the kids and I are starting off right this year. We even have the DVR set in case we miss something.

Tonight they were showing the results from the tryouts here in Arizona last summer, and the kids and I naturally started discussing the tryouts. Both Madison and Nick are disappointed that you can't try out until you are 16 and Madison asked me the question "If I tried out, do you think I'd make it?" Absolutely, I replied.

At some point my kids were insisting that I had a fabulous singing voice and that I would definitely make it if I were to try out. (They're so sweet) Nick tends to get upset if I discuss my lack of ability in that area, and passes it off as stage fright and nothing more, so I gave him another reason that satisfied him better.

I explained how the contestants have to be away from their families for a long period of time, and that is just not something I am willing to do.

However, the real story is this- One horrible audition is enough for me. I've had a pretty good grasp on the reality of my singing ability my whole life. I think when I was 5 or so I wanted to be a rock star, but reality set in, and I was okay with that. Truth is, I don't really care for the attention anyway. (That stage fright thing)

However, when I was a senior in high school all my friends were in concert choir. And that year concert choir was going to perform at Disneyland. So many of my friends would comment that it was too bad that I wasn't going to go, and that I should try out, and there was no way I could be as bad as the girl sitting next to them, and so on, and so on. They were relentless. And I ♥ Disneyland. And so I tried out.

It was awful. The teacher must listen to hundreds of kids try out for choir each year, (It was a big school, over 2,000 kids) and he still couldn't keep that pained look off his face. His words were (and I quote exactly, because it will forever be etched into my brain) "Not only can I not let you into Concert Choir, I can't even put in Junior Choir. All I can do for you is put you in Sophomore Girl's Chorus." (There was no freshman chorus- it was a 10-12 school) Alas, I needed the art credit. Instead of going to Disneyland I spent the year listening to girls talk about driver's ed.

score one for books

The very first time I ever felt the need to get a new book on the day it was released I was in my twenties- Harry Potter 4, I think. Five, six, and seven where all in my possession hours and sometimes minutes after they were released. Same with the Twilight books, well, the last two anyway, and even The Host. My point is, my whole life I've been a reader, but getting a book the day it was released is a relatively new concept for me.

Nick, however at the age of 12, has been looking forward to certain release dates of books for a couple years now. Harry Potter, Fablehaven, and Pendragon series books are all books he has looked forward to the release of.

But Zach has us all beat. At six years old I took him to the bookstore because a book was released today and he had to have it. In passing the other week I mentioned how sometime in the next week the third Diary of a Wimpy Kid was being released. Zach's reaction was immediate. "I have to get that, mom! Please! I have to get that! I've read the other two, I have to read that! I have to read that first!"

"First?"

"Yes! Cause I read the other two!"

"Well, Both Nick and I read the other two also."

"But, but, but, I need to read it first! " (totally panicking)

When he was finally assured that yes, I would get it for him, and yes, he could read it first since it meant so much to him, he proceeded to ask me a million questions. "Which day does it come out? what color is it? Light green or dark green? Which store are we gonna get it at? Are you gonna go when I'm at school? Can I go with you?"

So today after school I drove him to the new Barnes and Noble and he got his new book. The acquisition of the new book didn't stop the questions though. "Can I hold it? When is book four coming out? What color is it gonna be? What if it's yellow? or orange? or Gold! Can I hold it in the car? Can I read it in the car? Can I take it to piano lessons and read it while I'm waiting?"

I hope this enthusiasm for the printed word continues throughout his life. It's got some stiff competition though. This is the same kid who would wake up in the middle of the night and play on his Nintendo DS until I started confiscating DS's after 8 pm.

"I You"

Right now these are my two favorite little words in the whole universe. Ever so slowly Christopher is expanding his vocabulary, and these are the newest additions to that list. This is his way of saying "I love you", and they are the sweetest little words to this momma's ears. I tell him I love him all the time in the hopes that he will reply "I you. I you. I you."

Something old, something new

So before I get to the 'big reveal', I feel compelled to give a little bit of background info. I hate dining rooms. I think they are impractical and stupid, at least for our family anyway. You spend way too much money on a big fancy table and chairs, to use them like once or twice a year? Add the expense to the fact that my kids are incapable of eating without spilling something, and the thought of eating in a carpeted room becomes totally laughable. I realize that dining rooms don't have to be carpeted, but I didn't realize my disdain for dining rooms until I bought a house with one, and the carpet was already down before I gave it a second thought.

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one around here who thinks that space is wasted as a dining room. Several other people that I know with my floor plan have done other things with that room. One friend knocked out the wall between the dining room and kitchen and expanded her kitchen and built a big walk in pantry. Another friend just walled off the dining room to make a play room. Someone else I know recently took out her dining room table to make room for the pool table they just acquired. So I have this empty space in my house waiting for something to fill it. Well, most of the year it is empty, it is currently still home to my Christmas tree.

After contemplating on it for several months or so, I came up with the brilliant plan to turn it into a library. That big empty wall on the left would be the perfect spot for a big book case, a whole wall-unit type of thing. Add a couple of comfy reading chairs, an accent table and it would be perfect. But, like everything else in life, all it takes is money, and so my library sits, empty except at Christmastime. And that's okay. It also serves as a good place to swing your kids around. Big empty spaces are good like that.
What has all this got to do with my Disney curio? I'm getting there.

Last weekend I happened to be out doing some running around and happened to pass by one of my favorite furniture stores. There was a big, giant "Store Closing" sign in the window. I'm totally devastated by this fact. I love this store, and have since we moved down here to AZ, I've picked up things here and there when we've had the need and the money, and I'm really sad to see it go.

I had some money saved up from all those caramels I sold last month, and so I ran in the store to see what they had left. I asked about book cases, and she pointed me to a smallish book case, and said "this little guy is all we have left". It was half off, totally in my price range, and I loved it, and the staining would go with the other furniture in my living room, and we currently have a need for another book shelf, and it was totally perfect, except it wasn't. It was too small for my vision. I took a picture with my cell phone, and measured, and went home, and showed John the picture, and marked it off on the wall, and tried to justify it, but in the end I knew it wouldn't do. I knew it wasn't what I was looking for, and as perfect as it was, if I wasn't happy with the end results, it would be a waste of money. And then I turned around. I noticed my Disney curio standing against the far wall, looking out of place in that room, and I had a total epiphany. It could go there. And so I measured and thought about it, then drove back to the store just as fast as the law would allow.

I love it. I love the sliding doors, and the "seeded" glass windows which look all bubbly and antique-y. Since it is shorter than the curio, I would need to hang a picture or something on the wall above it, to do something with that awkward space above it. I thought about it for a few minutes until it dawned on me that I have the perfect thing that has been waiting around in the back of my closet for the perfect place to hang it.

There aren't many heirlooms in our family to be passed down through the generations, but I do have this. Actually it isn't mine anymore, it's Madison's. This is a little coin purse that has been passed down through the women in my family for 5 generations now. That picture is a picture of my great grandmother when she was a little girl holding that same coin purse. It was given to her by her mother, my great-great grandmother (the lady seated) on her 8th birthday with the instructions that she was to give it to her youngest daughter (my grandma) on her 8th birthday, and so on. My mom got it when she was 8, as did I, and Madison became the current owner last year when she turned 8. And as long as Madison has at least one little girl, it will hopefully continue on down the line. It did go back into my grandma's possession for awhile there and that was when she had it framed with the picture of her mother. I'm excited to find "that perfect spot" for the picture, and Madison is also happy with where it is (even though it's technically hers, she doesn't really get a say).

The picture is a little small for the space, so I am still on the lookout for the perfect thing or things to accessorize the general area, (any suggestions appreciated) and the bottom shelves are still pretty empty, but I am sure I can remedy that fairly easily in no time.

I ♥ Disney

There, I said it. I ♥ Disney. Yes, I know I am a bit of a Disneyfreak. Not totally out of control, but I do have a toaster that burns Mickey's image into your toast, and sings "It's a small world" when the toast pops up. I have silverware with the Mickey icon head cut out of the handle, and I once considered getting a tattoo with the symbols for peace, love, and Mickey Mouse. Thank goodness during that time I was either underage or a poor college student. Yikes. My very very favorite watch ever was a backwards running Goofy watch when I was a Senior in High School. (I'm totally on the lookout for another one, so if anyone ever sees one, let me know.)

I can tell you the exact day and time I started down the road to Disney Freakdom. It was the third to the last day of 8th grade, Health class. My teacher announced that for the last three days of school we would be watching The Little Mermaid. My friend Kari, turned around in her seat and said something to me along the lines of "Oh good! I'm so excited! I just love that movie! Don't you?"

My reply was something like- "Um, actually I've never seen it."

"What?!?! I can't believe you've never seen it?! I love it!"

"It's a cartoon."

"So? It's such a good movie. You are gonna love it."

"It's a cartoon. And I'm 14. Not 4"

And then the movie started... and as they say, everything else was history.

Some time after that a Disney Store opened up in our local mall and it became one of my favorite stores. I would go in and browse, and occasionally I would add to my ever expanding figurine collection. They had these little ceramic figurines of characters from the movies and I would go in and pick up one or two, usually the smaller, cheaper ones, or save my money for a bigger one. I think Beast was $28. That was a lot of money for a girl who made minimum wage (about $4.50 an hour back then) I found this old picture of my room growing up.See on the far right there? That's Belle. I was still waiting for Beast. And on the very left side, you can just make out a bottle of Tinkerbell's Pixie dust. Tinkerbell is one of my favorites. She's sitting next to her bottle of dust with her hands on her hips with a pouty, irritated look on her face. Oh and FYI, that piece of paper framed in the black frame, is Steve Young's autograph. I got that when I interned at a Country Club and he was golfing in a tournament. I was the designated "signature getter" that day for all the ladies in the office.

After we got married, I think the figurines went into storage for a few years. Maybe I kept out a few of my favorites. At any rate, sometime after we bought our first house, John surprised me one day with a curio cabinet to hold my figurines. It stood proudly in my front room while we lived there,

then after we moved to this house, it naturally went in the front room here too. Oh and FYI, my kitchen isn't normally this messy. That was like a one-time-only thing. Really. Stop by any time and I'll prove it to you. Just give me a couple hours notice.

Ok, so the point of all this rambling? I moved it. I moved my curio the other day. It's no longer on display in my front room. It's in the privacy of my bedroom. For several reasons, for starters, it matches better. All the furniture in my room is darker than the rest of the house. And secondly, it was bumped. I found something else that needed to go there. I'm really excited about it, but I will have to wait until tomorrow to share that, because Christopher needs me now. But I will leave you with one burning question- what could be more exciting than Disney figurines?

I quit.

Okay, so I was feeling pretty crappy yesterday. Like stay in my pajamas the whole day crappy. Needless to say, I didn't do anything. And to make matters worse, I started to feel like I was accountable to my blog for not doing anything. I thought I had hit a low with "I watched TV", (Christopher was super needy and sad, and I was coming down with whatever sunk my ship yesterday so watching Dora and comforting my baby was something indeed) However, I've really got nothing to say for yesterday. I had planned to be productive, but, well...

get dressed? no
make bed? no
take a shower? uh, no comment.
do dishes? laundry? ha ha.
go to the bank? Costco? the post office? no, no, and no.
make dinner? thank heavens for an understanding husband who took the initiative to make chicken tacos.
Take down the Christmas tree? still there along with all the other Christmas decor.
go to the gym? yeah, right.
I can't even say I spent the day with a good book.

I did however sleep in until 9:30, drive my kids to their music lessons and brush my teeth. And learn how to play a new kind of solitaire game on John's ipod. I won like 12 times. That's a well spent day for ya.

And I am irritated that I can't just be sick and tired and lazy and that's okay- but no, I had a genius Idea at one in the morning (I realize the time stamp says 12 am, but it's an hour off) and so now I am holding myself accountable on a daily basis, and it is totally backfiring, because I thought that by saying something positive, it would help my attitude, but now I am totally irritated about the whole thing. So let's just call that experiment a failure and get on with life. Whew! Glad that is over!

I watched TV

I've thought and thought about what I could say about yesterday, and the best that I can come up with is that I kept my baby company and watched some Dora and Diego with him when he was lonely and missing his bros. and sister. Besides having them around for the past two weeks to play with, he's had grandparents and cousins to play with. Yesterday was a hard day for him.

My one thing today

I made it to church on time. Woo-hoo! (seriously some weeks that seems impossible)-and as a bonus, though not something I can claim personally, Christopher (for the most part, relatively speaking of course) behaved himself, and stayed awake, so I went to all my meetings as well. (totally unheard of)

Tombstone

A few weeks ago John and I decided that we are going to put off going to Europe for a year or two. We have come to the decision that this is where we need to be for the time being. Christopher's behavior yesterday pretty much cemented that for us. He was pretty naughty. He just wanted to run around, and screamed when we wouldn't let him.

Other than Christopher's behavior, Tombstone is interesting at best. The kids thought it was fun. I'm not so sure it was worth the three hour drive each way, but we crossed something else off our Arizona List. It was really touristy, and felt a bit like a convention of sorts for cowboys, or a permanent western renaissance festival. (If that makes any sense)

Our first stop was Boothill Graveyard. The kids were shocked at all the different grave markers- several of them where "unknown" but many of them had a name, date, and sometimes even how they died. Many of them died from being shot, murdered, hung, or stabbed. The main street of town is closed to cars, but if you want to ride your horse in, feel free. They had hitchin' posts everywhere. Madison loved all the horses. I'm not sure where she gets it from but she begged and begged for a pink cowgirl hat. She didn't get it. I wasn't gonna spend $15 on a plastic hat. Once we made it into town, we found a place to eat, which wasn't hard cause people stand on every street corner handing out pamphlets to their restaurant or their gun fight show. We did see one of those. Not the "official" OK corral one. This one was more of a comedy type. Zach was so impressed with it though he came home a drew a picture so he could take it to school and show his teacher. We also walked through a little museum/tour thing which mostly focused on death in Tombstone. The ghost of Doc Holiday was the tour guide and while Nick, Maddie, and I thought it was pretty interesting, I think it scared Zach pretty good. John took the older three on a stage coach ride, which I guess was an authentic stage coach. That's pretty neat. I was happy to walk around with Christopher until he fell asleep. One of my personal little highlights happened when I was walking with Christopher. I little kid (8 or so?) wearing a hat and gun holster tipped his hat at me as we passed on the sidewalk. I thought it was pretty stinking cute. I heard his older brother laugh at him as he passed. Well at least now we can say "been there, done that" and I don't feel I ever need to go back. The kids enjoyed themselves and we had a good time with our kids, and that was the whole point of the outing, so I'd still call the trip a success.

second thoughts

The next time I come up with a "good idea" way past the hour when my brain turns off for the day, I need to remember just to hit the "save now" button rather than the "publish post" button so I can decide whether or not it really is a good idea before I go public.

That being said, I shall still try to follow along with the plan, for awhile anyway, mostly because even though it might help me to be a more positive person, it should definitely help me blog more consistently. Last year I averaged about twenty posts a month. I'd like to meet or beat that this year.

So today, one positive thing I did today was spend some good quality time with my little family. We ventured on down to Tombstone AZ. I hope to maybe detail some of the highlights of that trip tomorrow. Or the next day. We'll see.

positive things

As I was about to crawl in bed something occurred to me, and that was that I need some kind of plan of action. So although I will most likely grow bored of it after only a few days and quit, I have decided that every day (or as often as I can) I will try and write something positive that I did that day here on this blog. It's my version of that old SNL skit, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."

So to kick things off I will start off with today's, which is actually yesterday's cause it's after midnight, but since I haven't gone to bed yet, it is still today (Friday) to me.

The only thing that I could come up with was that I didn't yell at my kids today. At least I don't think I did. They might remember differently.

new years resolutions

Okay, so I'm feeling a little better. When I looked at my list 6 things I set out to accomplish last year, I started feeling a down on myself. One of my problems is that I need to quantify things. I can't just say "do better" or "be more organized" or "exercise more". Those things are totally subjective. How do I know how well I did if there is not a number (52 books, 50 pounds) or words like always, never, or every day?

And what about the stuff not on the list? Do ONLY those 6 things count? It took a couple of days, and but I started mentally compiling a list of things I did accomplish and other memorable moments.

For starters, I started this blog. I didn't think I would keep up with it for more than a week or two, and now it's nearly a year later, and I'm pretty proud of it to tell you the truth. When I was younger I was really good at writing in a journal every night, mostly trivial things, boys and stuff, but I was really good about writing something almost every day. I filled volumes. Hundreds of pages. Then I got married and had kids. I tried to keep a journal, but most of those entries started out something like "Jan 1, 2000, well Y2K was a big let down. Sorry I know it's been awhile since I've written, but I will try to do better. New years resolutions- lose weight and write in journal every day." Then I would detail the highlights of the past year, promise myself again to do better about writing, then the next journal entry would start "Jan 1, 2001...." My point is is that doing better about journaling wasn't on last year's official list, but I'm totally still counting it.

This first blog was so rewarding for me I started a second one. My plan for that is to write down the recipes and the stories, include some pictures and some failures, and maybe someday I will bind it up in a book and make copies for my kids when they grow up and move out. My mom says she wants a copy too. Seems fair since half of the recipes I got from her.

In 2008 I got my very first passport, and got the opportunities to see more of the world than I really ever thought I would. I stood on the observation deck of the Empire state building, I rode on the top of a double decker bus all over London, I saw Victor Hugo's grave, and listened to Big Ben chime on the hour. I rode on a segway all over Paris, toured a real castle in Germany, and stared down into the cavernous hole where the twin towers once stood. I ate at a sidewalk cafe on a street in Paris, saw Les Mis in London, watched kids play on that huge piano keyboard from the movie BIG, and stood where Nazi prisoners were tortured and died. Those kinds of experiences can't be quantified.

I made new friends, and found old ones. That counts for a heck of a lot in my book.

There were other things, but it is past midnight, and I am tired and so I can't quite remember them.

I know that John will be happy to read this, and will remind me of this for the rest of the year, but thinking about how New year's resolutions generally make me feel, and how they don't really accurately depict whether or not I was a failure that year, or whether or not it was wasted, so my goal this year is simple- I will try to be less critical of myself. I will add to that a list of things that I would like to do, but won't quantify it in any way. In 2009, I would like to be healthier, get more exercise, be more organized, try new recipes more often, read, travel, take a class or learn something new, laugh more, be a better mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.

Happy New Years!!

I hope everyone had a fun and safe New Years Eve last night, we were quite the party animals. After seeing Bedtime Stories (very cute btw) ate some take-out from In-N-Out for dinner, and played some MarioKart on the ol' Wii, the kids were all passed out by 11 pm. Zach and Madison only made it until 9 pm. Nick and Madison had aspirations of staying up an additional 24 hours until midnight tonight.

We woke the three older kids up with only seconds to spare, counted down the ball drop, gave hugs and kisses all around, then went to bed. I guess the poppers will have to wait for another year.

After looking over my last year's resolutions, I am feeling a little discouraged. I think I managed to do one- read 52 books (one a week), but even that I can't be sure because I stopped counting sometime last spring. I didn't even take the cake decorating class. And I thought that one was my easy goal. I'm going to have to think about this year's. Put it off until I am in a more positive mood.

I looked up the definition of "resolution" basically it is the "firm decision to do something". Synonyms include- decree, declaration, decision, promise, pledge, oath, vow, resolve, determination, steadfastness, tenacity, perseverance, firmness.

Those words feel a little daunting at the moment. I think maybe instead of New Year's "Resolutions", I shall make a list of "goals", or just "areas in my life I would like to change or see an improvement in, but am not going to make any promises, because if I haven't managed to do it in 33 years, I have little faith in the next 12 months."

I think I need an attitude adjustment. I'll get back to you on the "goals".