My version of the "Stay-cation"

I'm actually not a big fan of that word- staycation. It just sounds dumb to me.

Anyway, I am on food vacation. I have about 2 weeks until the next Catz session. And I am kinda looking at it like I am on vacation.

You know how when you go out of town your diet goes out the window? Ice-cream and fry sauce make their way regularly into your diet, and you go out of your way to eat at some place you can't get "back home". And you just accept that your pants might be a little tighter on the trip home than when you left, because "you are on vacation".

Well, I am on food vacation. I've got an itinerary of restaurants to eat at, and food I need to bake. Because I won't be able to get it when I go back to a real life of responsible eating.

I don't think I am being too irresponsible. (you can disagree with me all you want) I plan on exercising regularly these next too weeks, and after 8 weeks of healthy no sugar, low fat eating, now foods like a cheeseburger sound pretty repulsive. I CHOSE water to drink this afternoon. It's really what I wanted. I love Coke and Pepsi, and the burn of the carbonation as it goes down your throat, but gosh darn it, if it didn't sound too sweet. All that sugar made my stomach hurt just thinking about it.

I'd also like to put it out there that I am totally game if anyone wants to go out for lunch or anything. And should you feel like dropping off homemade treats or bread or jam or anything in the next two weeks, well, that would be awesome too. Ü

Catz update week 8!!!!

Woo-hoo! I made it! (I'm sure I'm not the only one who doubted I could)

Sorry there's no pictures. They didn't take any "afters" this morning, and I wasn't about to ask about it. (I really, really, hate having my picture taken) I figured maybe at the end of the next session. Or the next. Or the next.

Any way- the numbers- Another 4.6 lbs lost for a grand total of 22 1/2.

Also, and although I don't have the numbers in front of me- I lost a few inches off my hips and waist and such. And I made my body fat percentage goal. Which was like 4 percent or something.

And yes, I feel better and stronger. Well, not today of course. I just ate half a tube of thin mints and am feeling positively sick to my stomach.

Sorry this took so long to post. I was busy today. I had lots of eating to do. Girl scout cookies. Einsteins. Lunch out with a friend. Grocery shopping for things like gnocchi.

using your powers for good instead of evil.

Yesterday I was at the elementary school in the teacher workroom getting some supplies for Art Masterpiece. One of the 6th grade teachers approached me and asked how Nick was doing over at the jr. high. (she wasn't even his teacher, but he tends to make an impression wherever he goes.)

"Um, well, you know. Okay. He likes school. But we're still dealing with a lot of the same."

We exchanged knowing smiles.

The she mentioned that she and another teacher were wondering if they charge the kids for Saturday school when they get to many 9th hours. (The other teacher was Nick's teacher from last year.)

They figured I would know the answer to that. Cause, you know, odds are that Nick would have gotten quite a few 9th hours.

I explained that because of budget cuts they don't have saturday school. Instead you have to stay after for 2 hours, 2 different times for a total of 4 hours, and clean the school with the janitors. Scrubbing desks and stuff. They're calling it community service.

She wanted to know what Nick was getting all his 9th hours for. "Oh anything, and everything. Not doing homework, not finishing his homework, being late to class, leaving a book at home, losing his pencil in a previous class... you name it."

What she said next surprised me a little- "Do you think Nick, or even you, would be willing to come and talk to the 6th graders this year? We can't seem to get through to them how serious they are at the jr. high. These kids seem worse than the previous years. "

On the drive home from picking Nick up from his latest 9th hour, I told him about my conversation. I laughed at him and told him he was the guy in the wheelchair who goes around to all the jr highs and high schools warning kids not to drink and drive.

I'm not sure if the teachers are serious or not, but Nick hopes that if they are, the Dean of students will allow that to count for some of his community service instead of cleaning desks.

Maybe I should use the money for therapy.

I passed up an opportunity to go to Hawaii.

John is going next week, and he invited me to come along, and I declined. I even had a babysitter lined up.

Don't get me wrong, I love Hawaii, I'd been there before, once, about 4 1/2 years ago, but I chose to spend another week, here, being the single mom, dealing with the messes, and the schedules, and the kids, and the stresses that come with it all.

(I'm sounding crazier by the second, aren't I?)

Here's my defense- and if you still think I need to be put in a padded cell, then call my dad. He's available to babysit.

It won't be free. Most of it will, but John's not flying Southwest, and even though he can get an incredible deal on a round trip plane ticket, there's so many other things we can use that money for. Like a defensive driving class. Another session of CATZ. Summer school for Nick.

There's so much going on that week, and I would feel terrible about leaving it all on my dad- tutoring, music lessons, carpools, scouts, little league practice and games, 9th hours, gymnastics, etc., etc. Nick even has a big project for social studies due that Friday. It's worth 10% of his grade.

I only have two weeks off between sessions of CATZ - (anyone else want to join with me?) I was going to try and potty train Christopher in those two weeks. (wish me luck, it will be nothing short of a miracle if I have any success) Otherwise, I won't be able to attempt to until summer.

Then there's the trip itself. Yes, it's Hawaii. Yes, it's with my husband whom I've only seen a grand total of 6 days in the last 6 weeks. But it's my least favorite island. Wah, wah. I sound like a big whiner. But I really wasn't impressed with Honolulu or Waikiki beach. It was just a big, crowded, noisy city. With panhandlers, and street performers, and expensive shops where I can't afford anything. Everything is expensive there.

And I would be spending most of the day by myself, or with some one's wife who came with their husband. John will be working most of the time.

Pearl Harbor? been there.

Polynesian cultural center? done that.

The last time we were there we were with friends, and it was fun. And most of that stuff is better with people you know. (or at the very least a special someone)
And then there's the weather. It's not like it's all that much better there than here. Next week they will see a high of 82, we'll see a high of 78. It's not like I am escaping a week of snow and bitter cold for a week in paradise. Besides, even if I owned a decent swimsuit, as opposed to the maternity one I've been wearing for 4 years, it's not even swimsuit whether there.

I figure at best I will find enough to do to fill up a couple of afternoons- a couple craft fairs, I think there's a couple little museums with local artists, and then what? Read? while I wait for John to finish up so we can spend some time together? While my dad changes poopy diapers and chauffeurs my kids all over the valley?

Don't get me wrong, I've left my kids in the care of their grandparents before, and I have no problem spending the day alone, it's just that this time the payoff doesn't seem worth the money or the guilt.

It would be nice, but I'm thinking "not this time". John doesn't think this will be my last chance to go either. A lot of doors opened up to him in Japan. That's why he's going to Hawaii. He met someone (within the company) who was impressed, and so he lined up a bunch of clients for John to talk to.

Give me Maui or Kauai, in the summer, 20-40 more pounds lost, and you wouldn't be able to keep me away.

18 means you're an adult, whether or not you act (or think) like one

So court wasn't so bad. Different. But better than I expected. In Utah you get a ticket, and you either pay it or go to defensive driving school. End of story. (and believe me, I had more than a few encounters with traffic cops) Here you have to go tell a judge your intentions. I got to choose to go to school. I thought that avenue might be closed to me, (because I procrastinated so long before the court hearing. They made it seem like if I wanted to do the school thing, I had to do it before I went to court. ) but I still have 2 months. (the fact that I've been living in this state a decade and am just now learning some of this stuff, says a lot about how much my driving has improved since my teenage years.)

It was a little intimidating, and I had time to ponder whether or not I would have watched my speed better, or been more careful, had I had to go and answer to a judge every time I saw those blue and red lights.

I have to make a clarification on the last post. It has been 16 years, and the details are fuzzy, but as I thought about it, $2500 seemed awfully high to me. And then I remembered that it was actually only $1000, but the judge suspended $750, and I only had to pay $250- Unless I got arrested in the next year, then I'd have to serve the 30 days in jail and pay the rest of the fine) which to a poor almost-college student might as well have been 2500. I made $5 an hour.

Well now that I brought it up, I guess I should share the story of my idiocy.

The summer between my senior year of high school and my first year of college I worked at a music store. (I believe I've mentioned this once or twice?) It was fun. I made a lot of friends. We'd hang out after work, and do stuff together regularly. Most of my friends were older than me, except one girl. She was only 17. (I was 18) We were all planning on going dancing, but you had to be 18 to get in, and that left Emily out. I felt bad about it.

I mentioned my dilemma to another friend, and she offered up the sage advice to get her a fake ID. She said it was easy. You go to the DMV, tell them you lost yours, fill out a new application, bring proof of ID- like a birth certificate and SSN card (no pictures) and they take her picture.

Sounds genius, no?

I actually told my mom my plans for the day before I left the house.

It all went pretty smoothly until they took her picture. Unbeknown to me, the DMV was farther along technologically than most places in 1994. They took her picture, compared it to the picture of me in their system, saw me standing next to her, and we were arrested on the spot.

We weren't handcuffed and hauled off in a police car or anything, just taken into a back room and read our rights, and fingerprinted, and Emily had to call her mom (she was a minor). The actual charges were "Fraud- falsifying government documents".

When I got home my mom casually asked "So, did you get arrested?"

So that's my big brush with the law. I learned a couple things that day-

If you're going to college and have a scholarship- don't do anything stupid like getting arrested. If I would have had to go to jail, I would have totally messed everything up.

And maybe, just maybe, my mom knew more than I gave her credit for back then. She didn't try to talk me out of anything, but she probably knew I wouldn't listen.

Also if you're going to do something really stupid, do it all BEFORE you are 18. Afterwards it follows you FOREVER.

I have to go to court today.

I was a slacker and never completed my defensive driving class. I procrastinated, and was super busy with kids and schedules, then had technical issues, and my favorite computer geek was half a world away, etc., etc., and suddenly the deadline came and passed.

So I get to go to court for that little fender bender I had about a month ago.

Maybe they will give me an extension, maybe they won't.

Either way, I'm feeling rather nauseous about the whole thing.

The last time I had to stand before a judge it involved the words "$2500 fine, and 30 days suspended jail sentence."

a letter to my pajama pants

Dear blue plaid pajama pants,

Words can't express how much I have missed you.

I am so happy to have you back into my life, and that I can once again spend a lazy Sunday lounging around in you.

It's been a long time, my friend. Thank you for waiting around in my closet while I got my act together.

I'm sorry I let all those cookies, and chocolate, and laziness get in between us.

I promise to never let it happen again.

I just hope that the strain in our relationship hasn't left you so thin that I put my foot through the crotch like our friend the purple pajama pants.

Thanks for waiting for me,

Kirsten

what are you saying? huh?

I can't decide if this is his way of telling me I need to step up my housekeeing skills, or whether he's offering to help.

Something tells me it's the first option. My children only obediently and quickly clean when there is a fair amount of guilt and/or fear involved. Which, you know, is totally awesome parenting on my part.

Last night I came home from church to find lemonade spilled all over my kitchen, which no one else had noticed, and therefore no one attempted to clean it up, or even contain it. Sticky footprints were everywhere. That's in addition to the usual mess of stuff left out, 47 cups on the counter, overflowing garbage can, garbage on the table and counter (probably because there was no room in the trash can.), toys strewn from one end of the kitchen to the other, Valentines scattered on the floor (I guess I am being redundant there, I already mentioned the trash everywhere)...

I could go on, and on.

Really. I just deleted 4 whole paragraphs on my frustrations at getting the kids to take care of their responsibilities. I decided I didn't need to go into details.

So what do you think? is that little assignment for school directed at me as if to say "Mom, I'd really appreciate it if you'd clean up all our toys in the toy room so you can take down the Christmas tree that is still up"? or should I give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he really and truly wants to help? or was it just a dumb assignment to him that he has already forgotten about, and he only wrote that down because that was one of the suggestions the teacher put out there?

Catz update week 7

It was definitely a better week.

4.1 pounds!! For a grand total of (drumroll please) 18 pounds!!

I was crossing my fingers, and hoping for 3, but would have been happy with 2.

It's been a tough week food wise. I cheated and ate 2 girl scout cookies. No, it was 3. Not the Samoas or the Thin Mints. I think I worry that once I start with those, I won't be able to stop. But I really wanted to try one of the new cookies. It's a white chocolate cranberry one. I still wasn't sure, so I had to try it again. I liked them, but not loved them. I prefer my Cran-Orange White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookies better. Also the kids left an open package of the lemon ones on the table, and before I knew it, there was a cookie in my mouth.

But I did not purchase the icecream, even though I really, really, really wanted to.

So this is my very last week. (for now) I think there will be another challenge in a month. I would really, really, really like to lose another 20 lbs before summer. I haven't seen numbers on the scale like that since before Zach came along. All in all, I think I'd like to lose 60-80 lbs this year. (I'd have to lose 90 to get down to my pre-baby body, so I think 60-80 is fairly reasonable)

I've seen these numbers on the scale loads of times. The only difference between this time and the last few times is I am noticing a little more muscle. I have shoulder muscles. Who knew?

Next week, if I am brave, I will post pictures. Before and After. I am fairly certain I will still hate my "After", and probably not even show my family.

Passing the torch

This was my mug when I was younger.

I've had this thing for about 20 years. I love it. It's one of those "it's funny cause it's true" kind of things. But it's time for me to pass it on.

Poor Nick.

There's a line in a popular song ♪♫Your brain gets smart but head gets dumb♪♫. Nick can relate. Alot of the time.

For instance- (and this was the deciding incident for me to pass on the mug)

The other night, for whatever reason I was singing that YMCA song. The tune was in my head, I was feeling tired and a little punch drunk, I was trying to get the kids' attention, or d all of the above. Take your pick. So there I am singing the song, doing the little dance and Nick makes the comment that he could never figure out how to do the arm movement things. (this isn't what earned him the mug) We have a quick tutorial and I send them off to bed.

A few minutes later I am in Nick's room doing the tucking in, listening to prayers, saying good night thing, and I bust into song again. Only I change it up a bit (tune is still stuck in my head) and instead of singing ♪♫Y-M-C-A♪♫ I sing ♪♫N-I-C-K♪♫ and try to make the letters with my arms. (N is hard)

Anyway, Nick looks at me with a confused expression, and says "What's that?"

I stare at him with an incredulous look on my face, and after a minute or so, the realization hits him.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Don't you dare put that on your blog!"

I'm so sorry dear. But when my 13 year "gifted" child doesn't recognize his own name, it's definitely too good to pass up.

(in related news, I think I figured out why he has such trouble putting his name on his homework)

Happy Valentine's Day!

Dear John-

Thank you for the roses. They're beautiful.

I still think you're silly for sending me flowers when the cost of flowers is so ridiculously expensive. If you have to be away next year and want to send me a little something to let me know you are thinking of me and love me, I'm thinking a maid would be nice.

I do appreciate how you set the bar so high for the kids. I hope they are paying attention so that when they are older the boys want to be the kind of husband they see in you, and Madison will want to marry a guy just like her dad.

Sorry I forgot to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day yesterday. I forgot that the dates are all messed up too. I remember to subtract 8 hours and then add tomorrow, and that's how I figure out what time and what day of the week you are in, but I forgot about the date change too.

Love you, and miss you

Kirsten

as if this weren't hard enough

I have cases of Girl Scout Cookies in my house.

500!

My 500th post! Woo-hoo!

Who knew I could keep it up this long?

It's been loads of fun. (for me at least!)

Here's to me sticking with something for over 2 years!

Here's to 500 more random thoughts, happenings, tidbits, insights, rants, and confessions!

This feels a little anti-climatic. I didn't realize this was #500 until I logged in, so I don't have a "fabulous 500" post planned out in my head, but felt I should acknowledge it anyway. Maybe if something 500-worthy pops into my head later I'll edit this. It's my blog, I can do that.

catz update - week 6

The numbers were not so good this week.

.2

Yes, that's correct- oh-point-two pound loss.

If I were the optimistic sort of person, I would quote an old weight watchers leader- "A quarter of a pound! That's a stick of butter!" But, I'm not.

I could take comfort in the muscles that I am noticing under the fat on my arms. I'm actually getting shoulder muscles. But it's easier to focus on the fat that's hiding them.

But, I'm still really frustrated. I'm smack dab in the middle of my yo-yo zone that I've been in for the last 8 years.

I've been gaining and losing the same 20 pounds for 8 years. That includes 2 pregnancies.

And just so you know, nursing does not help me lose weight. I GAIN while nursing. I HATE people who say "All I did was nurse for 6 months, and the weight fell right off" I wanna punch them in their flat abs.

I don't know how it's possible to sit around all day while feeling completely ravenous 24 hours a day and lose weight.

I got off on a tangent there. Anyway, I was really hoping that this Catz thing would help me to break through this cycle I've been on. I can't seem to drop past a certain number. I was hoping to knock it out of the ballpark and never look back. It doesn't look like that's going to happen this month.

Sorry. I'm just cranky and venting.

I'll pick myself up, dust myself off, make myself a salad and drag myself to the gym. Go Team.

The unrequited crush

In Madison's first year of pre-school she had a crush on Tyler. He was a cute, shy blonde boy.

In her second year of pre-school it was Seth.

I forget who was the object of her offection in kindergarten.

And I am not allowed to name any names past that point because she still goes to school with most of them.

The point is, there is usually a boy out there that Madison has the hugest crush on, but I am always sworn to secrecy when it comes to his identity. Madison would die of embarrassment rather than let her school crush know she likes him.

I get that.

I was the exact same way.

All through elementary school I would have a new crush every year. In jr high and high school, I liked several boys at the same time, sometimes one more than others, but there was ALWAYS at least one.

And I mostly never told them. They might have been able to figure it out, because I wasn't the smoothest operator. - Like when I would strategically plan to shut my locker just as a certain cute boy would walk by, knowing he'd talk to me on the way to English class.

But mostly I was a big fat chicken. Didn't ask boys to dances, nothing. I understood just how George, the dad, felt in Back to the Future when he said "I just don't think I can take that kind of rejection". And sometimes I would have a thing for one of my "guy friends". In my head it was worth more to me to keep them as friends, than gamble to find out if we could ever be more than just friends. No regrets, though, I am still friends with most of my high school guy friends. No, I take that back, I regret not putting myself out there a little more and asking guys to some of the girls choice dances. Live and learn, I guess.

But I still have to tease Madison a little with her crushes.

The other day in the car she was relating a story to me how they got to play Red Rover at school. (She actually tried explaining the rules as if I had never heard of that game before.- Hello! That was my favorite! In my head I totally rocked that game.)

Anyway, she told me how it was gross when she had to hold boys' hands.

"Did you ever get to hold (insert name of current crush here)'s hand?"

Her silence caused me to look at her in my rear view mirror and see her fighting a smile and a slight blush to her cheeks.

Finally she answered- "Twice. But it was all sweaty."

Catz update- week 5

I did better than last week- but not what I was hoping for of course. 2.3 pounds. For a grand total of 14. That's where I wanted to be last week. Half way through this challenge. Not 5 weeks into a 8 week challenge.

If I were able to meet my goals every week, I would have lost 28 pounds. That number was pretty exciting. And then I had that great week, and Glenda said "wow! I bet you lose 35 pounds- EASY." and then the number in my head jumped to 35, and the end result picture of myself in my head was looking pretty dang good.

With just three weeks left, that 28 pound loss is fast becoming beyond my reach. (35 evaporated a week ago) Now I am praying for 25, but worrying it might be only 20.

I know, I know. Realistic goals. blah blah blah. And what's that phrase? "Slow and steady wins the race"?

At first I balked at the 4 pound a week goal. "4 pounds? are you serious? doesn't everybody say a healthy weight loss is one to two pounds a week?"

But then I thought, "maybe by giving up breads and stuff, which I have NEVER done before, maybe, just maybe, it is doable."

And so although only 6 weeks ago, I would have been thrilled with a two pound loss in a week, this week I am a little frustrated.

Big picture. yeah, yeah. I know. That's what the guy who weighed me in and tries to kill me on a nearly daily basis said today.

I'm still shooting for 6 pounds next week. I've added extra workouts to my schedule and substituted some of the yummy fruits (my only edible joy) for more vegetables in my diet.

It sucks eating solely for fuel rather than pleasure. Speaking of which, I am eagerly anticipating the arrival of a new cookbook from Amazon any day now. Rose Levy Berenbaum's "Rose's Heavenly Cakes". It's all the rage on food blogs these days. I had to get it.

I just had a disturbing realization. (and please stop reading now if you are easily offended- no seriously, stop reading now, I mean it)

All these food blogs, and cookbooks, and magazines are like food porn to me. I can't have it, so I just want to look at the pictures and fantasize about eating all those cakes and cookies and pies and tarts and potatoes and pasta and chocolate (I actually took a candy bar out of a friend's purse so I could smell it- we were standing there talking and it was sticking out- and I couldn't help myself. I didn't want to cheat and eat it, I just wanted to hold it and smell it.)

See? I told you. Disturbing.

high and low

You know that high and low game where people list their high points and low points of the day?

Here's mine for yesterday-

Low- finding out Christopher has pink eye and having to cancel my appointment at Catz to go to the doctor.

High- Listening to Christopher belt out ♪♫♪ "Jesus ah me a Sun-beam! Jesus ah me a Sun-beam!"♪♫♪ at Target while we waited for his antibiotics.

Why, yes, I am uncoordinated. Why do you ask?

If you had driven by my house at around 3 pm this afternoon you would have seen me laying flat on my back on my driveway.

Christopher and I decided to enjoy the lovely weather we Arizonans enjoy in February while we waited for the bigger kids to come home from school.

Somehow I got it into my head that if my three year old could ride a razor scooter with ease, then so could I.

Apparently I was very, very wrong.

And I have the battle wounds to prove it.

Hammackers and Cheepos

Not that I remember, but my parents would tell you how when I was a little girl (2 or so) and we would be in the car going anywhere, I would always think we were going to get something to eat. I would point out all the McDonald's and Arctic Circles and call out from my car seat in the back "Hammacker, fries, and dip (fry sauce) daddy! Right there daddy!" (The odd thing is, as far back as I can remember, we didn't go out to eat a whole lot. It was a special treat when we would take our coupons to Arctic Circle for dinner)

30 years later, I have my own little back seat driver.

Rarely does a drive in the car not involve him pointing out some fast food restaurant. While I was a little more demanding, he's a little more suggestive. "Cheepos? (chicken nuggets) Fwies? Sprite?" As if he's trying to say "Doesn't that sound like a good idea mom?" Sometimes I agree. If only I could get some dip with those fwies.

Yay for Punxsutawney Phil!

Growing up in Utah, I used to pray the groundhog would not see his shadow and that spring would come early. By the time February rolls around, I am really sick of winter.

For obvious reasons I've changed my tune.

Yesterday Madison came home and announced we "HAVE TO" have 6 more weeks of winter, and spring is not coming early this year.

"Have to? We GET to!"

It's cool enough that we can wear sweaters and socks, comfort foods like soups and stews and hot cocoa are the perfect antidote to a chilly day, and yet there is no snow to shovel, no car windshields to scrape, no slushy puddles to step in. Besides, it's the perfect time of year to say "Go outside and play!"

It just doesn't get any better than that. As far as I'm concerned, that groundhog can stay in his hole for the next six months.

glutton for punishment

You know that old joke- A man walks into a Dr.'s office and says "My arm hurts when I do this. Can you help me?" And the doctor replies "Sure, don't do that anymore."

I feel like the doctor, only my patient is a three year old and he's not taking my advice!

Every time we get in the car, unless the sun is directly over head, or has gone down for the night, Christopher spends much of each car trip staring at the sun, and screaming "My eyes! My eyes!"

Sunglasses help marginally. Sometimes he'll wear them, sometimes he won't. And even with sunglasses, odds are he will still have his head turned towards the sun, and will be squawking about his eyes until I turn a corner and the sun is behind us.

He simply will not turn away.

It's even happened in the house. If the sun is streaming through a window just right, he will manage to be in the wrong spot at the wrong time, complaining about his eyes, but won't move. And if you try to move him, he will scream louder and then move back to his spot and then proceed to act like he's being tortured against his will.

While I love, love, love having a three year old in the house, I find myself wishing most days his reasoning skills were a little more developed.