we have a pet.

I am not a pet person, as anyone who knows me even slightly, would agree.

I already live with four wild animals, I don't need to add shedding to the mix.

That's not to say that I don't like animals, which I do, I'm just not a fan of the allergies that come with them, the stinky dog breath and slobber, cleaning out cages, tanks, and litter boxes, the vet bills, finding someone to watch them when you go out of town, etc.

Yes, my family does get the short end of the stick, but ultimately it would be me taking care of any creature residing in our home and I don't want to. So there. Like I said, four wild animals is enough already.

We had a fish for awhile there. Nemo. He was just a little guppy Nick brought home from school. I warned him I had a bad track record with fish and most likely he would be dead by morning. He lived a year and a half. I wasn't sad the day we flushed him down the toilet (just slightly grossed out).

When I was a kid we did have a parakeet for quite awhile. What a miserable creature that thing was. It hated us. Truly. We ended up giving it away to someone who had other parakeets in hope that some feathered companionship would help it's disposition.

And that's about it. Except the two kittens that ran away. Anyway that's neither here nor there.

Anyway, I'm not a pet person. It is what it is.

And yet, somehow, I caved.

You see, Madison is a pet person. And for whatever reason when I speak to her on the phone she is inexplicably only 5 years old. Her sweet little voice takes me back in time. And so when I got this message on my cell phone "Mommy, in school we are studying crabs, and my teacher says we can take one home if you say it's okay, so, if you get this message, and you agree, can you bring me a Tupperware to school so I can have a pet crab, cause I really, really, really want a pet." And then I spent the rest of the day imagining her watching the door hoping I would show up.

And now I have an ugly, stinky little crab sitting in a Tupperware on my counter and a happy little girl. (somewhat anyway, I'm sure she'd rather it was a puppy)

catz update week 5

Do you watch 'Biggest Loser'?

I do.

This is my first year watching it, but I'm pretty obsessive about it. Mostly because I can sorta relate. I started going to Catz the same week this season started on that show. I like to check out what exercises they are doing. The other night they were pushing big weight plates across the floor. I got excited because sometimes I have to do that. I HATE pushing weight plates across the floor. It sucks.

Anyway, that's not why I brought it up- at the end of the week they have to weigh in (luckily I don't have to weigh in in front of everybody) and sometimes their numbers are good, and sometimes not so good. One week someone might drop 10 lbs, and the next- 1. And they stand there on the scale saying things like "I don't get it. It doesn't make sense. I worked so hard..."

And I wanna laugh, because it's like "Welcome to my life.'

I have good weeks, and I have not so good weeks, and some of the time it is NOT representative of how hard I worked. Even before, when I was on Weight Watchers- some weeks I'd lose 4, and then the next week .25, and yeah, it sucks. We like pay offs. We like to see the results of our labors.

Unfortunately weight loss isn't always like that. For me anyway. I'll plateau for a few weeks, then have a big loss, then plateau for awhile again, etc. Unfortunately it's the plateaus that get me. It gets so frustrating to see the numbers on the scale get stuck, or worse, go up! Even when I'm doing everything right.

So, as you have probably guessed, this was a not-so-good-week. Not bad, but not great either.

One pound loss.

But I expected it. Not because I cheated a teeny bit last weekend, but because my numbers were so good last week. I even worked out MORE this week than last. Added a couple extra workouts- going to my other gym, walking with a friend... but still, I've been around the ol' diet block enough to know that my body likes to balance things out.

One good week, a couple not so hot weeks. One good week, a couple weeks where I struggle.

I'm just giving myself a little pep talk here. Keep pushing and hopefully I'll see more results. I'm just glad that when I do have a "not so great" week, there's no yellow line for me to fall below and therefore get kicked out of the program like on Biggest Loser.

plans

The other day for Activity Days Madison was supposed to think of two things she wanted to be when she grows up. I sent her off to school with that thought in mind, and when she came home I asked her if she had figured it out.

"Yes." She replied. "I want to be a mom and an artist."

I think she'll be great at both.

She's already the "little mom" around here. Whenever I tell Christopher "no", he runs to her for comfort. She's happy to carry him around even though he's nearly as big as she is. I draw the line when he falls asleep on her on the couch at night and she offers to carry him up to bed. 40 pounds of dead weight up 17 stairs and across the mine field that is our play room? Not a good idea.

And as for the dream of being an artist- she was recently chosen to be in an art show. It was a pretty big honor for her. She was so excited. I think only one kid from each class was asked to participate.

She doesn't get it from me. I was the little mom around the house too (the oldest and only girl with three little brothers) but the only time in my life I ever vocalized being a stay at home mom, was when I was in high school and my dad was yelling at lecturing me as to why my grades weren't good enough. (I graduated with a 3.4- good, but not spectacular-( and they didn't weight for Honors classes back then either)

"How do you expect to get into college with grades like these?!?"

"What if I don't want to go to college? What if I just want to stay home and raise kids like mom?!?!" (That wasn't even true- I wanted to go to college. I wanted a career. Husband and kids didn't even factor into ANY future plans. I just said that to be disagreeable.)

And being an artist? Ha! For a little while (when I was 4 or 5) I did have aspirations to be an artist. But that was short lived. I knew my limits. Later on, I was irritated I had to take any art credits to graduate from High School. I even paid a kid to make stuff for me in my pottery class.

Well, what ever she does, I think she'll be great, but I expect her to get good grades and go to college. I'll end this with my dad's argument-winning comeback- "I don't care what you end up doing, but you will get an education! You need a back up plan! Something to fall back on in case your husband dies or runs off with his secretary leaving you with 7 kids! What are you going to do then?!?"

The irony/hypocrisy/whatever is not lost on me. Although I said that just to irritate my dad, I recognize that I AM the stay at home mom without a back up plan. So kids, do as I say, not as I do, and get a degree, and John, don't die or run off with your secretary, K?

Fathers and Sons campout

The other day as the boys were getting ready to go on their campout, and Madison and I were plotting our evening on what would be a historical night ( It is the very first time ever that all the boys were going, leaving just us girls home alone. Side note- John wasn't that thrilled about taking Christopher, and I was sympathetic for about half a minute until I remembered I took them all to Disneyland by myself. ) Madison asked- "Since the boys get a fathers and sons campout, do the girls get anything like that, that's just for us?" "Yes. It's called fathers and sons." But you know, instead of playing in dirt, we get pedicures. And instead of eating burnt weenies cooked over the fire, we go out to eat.

So I have to confess. I cheated a little bit. While we were getting our pedicures and discussing what we wanted to do for dinner, at some point Madison's face fell a little, and her smile turned sad, and she said "Oh. You can't eat any of that stuff." "That's okay, honey." I reassured her. "I'll be fine. The point is to spend time with you." She made some comment that it just wouldn't be as fun, and her smile didn't return until I decided that one night of cheating wouldn't kill me. (After all I did lose 6 lbs last week!)

We went to Subway for dinner. Madison picked it. She was thinking of me, that if I was going to cheat, it shouldn't be too bad. Of course later on in the evening I treated the two of us to some fancy chocolates and we shared a cup of hot chocolate as we walked around the mall.

For awhile now, Madison has been bothered by the fact that she doesn't need glasses. The fact that there is an accessory out there that she can't have makes her crazy. So when she found a $9 pair of fake glasses at the mall, she persuaded me to get them for her.

We ended the evening watching movies in my bed and having "a sleepover".

My favorite part of the night? "When she grabbed my hand right in the teenager section of the mall, and said, "I love you, mom."

Thank you, Eyjafjallajokull

Yes, that's the name of the volcano that blew in Iceland. No, I don't know how to pronounce it.

John is supposed to be in Europe this week. But a certain volcano erupted in Iceland bringing all airline travel to and from Europe to a total standstill.


His trip is postponed for a week.


This means that he has been able to help out with Zach's science project, attend an art show that Madison was taking part in, and attend the annual Fathers and Sons campout. That in and of itself is a miracle as he's ALWAYS out of town that weekend.


Now let's just hope that the volcano's bigger brother doesn't erupt in the next week or so, stranding John in Europe for who knows how long. Cause that would stink. And I would be insanely jealous.

Catz update week 4

It was a good week.

Knees still bothered me, but for whatever reason the weight loss stars were aligned.

(drum roll please)

This week- 6 lbs.
Current challenge total- 16 lbs.
Year to date- 34 lbs.

In addition, I'm pretty stoked about the fact that while I only made 3 out of 8 of my goals last challenge, even though it's only 4 weeks into this challenge, I've already made 6 of my goals. (granted they are easier this time around) What that means is that I have earned a bunch of credits to be able to work out for free (or at a considerably reduced price) this summer. I'm not sure what our schedule is going to be like this summer, how long we will spend in Utah, or whether or not I will get to tag along with John on any trips, but I am fairly certain I won't be signing up for the next challenge. (cause you have to be around for all of it) So being able to work out for free when I am in town would be awesome. (hopefully I won't undo too much of my hard work! Ü)

Okay, I'll make one minor concession...

....He's got the right initials.

Jason Bourne

Jack Bauer

James Bond

John Berrett

Just an observation Ü

International man of mystery

At church John has made quite a little reputation for himself. Ironically probably because he's never there. Always flying off to some exciting locale. So he must be some super spy saving the world, right?

I get to field questions about his whereabouts."Where's Brother Bourne this week?"

One week we were sitting in class when John was immediately called out. Apparently our three year old was AWOL from primary. "Where'd Brother Bauer run off to? Need to diffuse a bomb?" The teacher asked. "No, just a simple search and rescue," I said.

Brother Bauer?

Brother Bourne?

I still say Brother Bartowski.

I submit exhibit A-

That's my husband sitting in church.

Here's a close up of his tie. To the uninitiated it looks like a simple ugly tie. But to those in the know it has a coded message in it.

In binary. (the language of computers)

It says "I hate wearing ties."

Case closed.

catz update week 3

One pound. (loss)

I'm okay with that though. It's been one of those weeks. My biggest fear going in there today was that the scale was going to show I gained.

Not that I ate badly. Not really anyway. It was just my stupid knees. I'd suffer through an hour at Catz, not able to give it my all, worried I was going to really mess up a knee, going slower than usual, modifying exercises... then come home and sit on the couch and ice my knee.

Then there's that one law of physics that rears it's ugly head regularly in my life "An object in motion tends to stay in motion, an object at rest tends to stay at rest." Unfortunately I've been exemplifying the last part of that more often lately. All that sitting around and icing my knees and stuff. Now I'm half way through with my book club book, and I am caught up on my DVR'd shows, and have enjoyed a few Robert Downey jr. flicks this last week as well (both old and new. I've been on a kick.)

Usually I try to fit in a few extra walks to Sprouts to pick up fresh fruit and veggies. That didn't happen this week. Which leads me to the second part of my not-so-good week, without a stocked fridge, I've had a hard time finding things to eat. So nearly every day I have cheated an eaten Special K meal bars. They really aren't that bad. 180 calories. 10 grams of protein. But they are still on the no-no list.

I'm determined to do better this week. I've made all my goals so far, but 14 more pounds in 5 weeks is gonna be tough.

chocolate is always the answer.

Last summer while visiting in Utah, John and I ran into an old friend from high school. She had her three girls with her, and they were shopping for bras. Namely for her middle girl. Who just happened to be Madison's age.

Yes. Madison's age.

John and I were stunned. Mostly because we aren't ready to deal with our own daughter's maturity. Bras and make-up and boys and that-time-of-the-month are all horrifying concepts for us.

Naturally I try to disguise my dread with a poor attempt at humor. Since that day, I don't think that Madison and I have been shopping alone together without me pointing out training bras and asking her if she'd like to pick out a couple.

"Mom!!!! Ew!!!"

I utter a quick, silent prayer of thanks that she is still my little girl.

(I also love that when she is watching TV or a movie and there are people kissing, she covers her eyes, and cries "Ew, gross! Tell me when it's over!")

Anyways, a week or so ago she got a big package in the mail. Every so often Madison gets a large box of clothes that her cousin has outgrown. It's a treasure trove of barely used, if not never worn clothes. Some still with tags hanging off.

So there we are, Madison, me, John, Zach, and Madison's BFF Jillian excitedly digging through the cheer leading outfits, jeans, shirts, dresses, etc, and I spot something small and white, and slightly padded. I quickly snatch it and fling it at her. "Woo-hoo! Your first bra!"

"Awww, mo-om!"

Zach quickly pipes up, "Well, if you don't want to wear it, you can always fill the cups with chocolate and stick it in the freezer."

Genius.

The important stuff

Is anyone else out there a Bones fan too?

I'm very upset about last night's episode.

It was shaping up to be one of my favorites. They were telling Dr. Sweets (the psychiatrist) the story about how they first met, a year before the actual pilot. It was good. They kissed. I was loving it. So many little character insights.

Anyway, long story short at the very end of the show, Booth decides to tell Brennan that he loves her and always has, and he kissed her, and it was like that moment on The Office when Jim kisses Pam for the first time, and just like that, Brennan rejects Booth!

And he was so sad and dejected. And his eyes were all red and teary, even though he's trying to keep his cool, because he's gun-toting-ex-army-ranger-sniper-FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth. And it's clear they love each other, but she has issues so she won't even give the relationship a chance, and then he says that he has to move on so he can find someone who will love him for 40 or 50 years.

And I wanted to scream at the TV "for somebody so smart, you are so stupid Brennan!!!" But then for the brief tiniest mili-second I'm thinking "ooh this means the rest of us have a shot with this knight in FBI standard issue body armor."

And then of course reality sets in and I realize two things-

a) I am already very happily married to someone who will love me for eternity (which is so much better than only 40 or 50 years) and

b) HE'S A FICTIONAL CHARACTER!!!!

Anyway. I'm frustrated and irritated. I know it's just a show, (but it's a really, really good show!) and the writers have to keep things interesting, and I hear it's going to get more "interesting" (frustrating and irritating) in the season finale.

Of course I have to remind myself that I agree with those who say that Pam and Jim got together too early (even though she rejected him in the season finale, she got her head on straight by the next season) and the show just isn't as exciting after that.

And it is only season 5. They need to drag this out for at least a couple more seasons. I'd rather be irritated and frustrated but still have my favorite show to watch, than have them get together only to end the show.

catz update

I'll keep this short and sweet.

My knee is still hurting me, I'm hobbling and wincing through workouts, but I'm not sure what I want to do about it. Just like the time that I went to the doctor about my knees several years ago, I'm hoping that the answer to my knee issue is "You're fat. Lose weight."

anyway- the numbers-

This week- 2 lbs loss
current challenge total- 9 lbs
year to date weight loss- 27 lbs.

Dear parents,

Grandparents, Siblings, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and other adopted family members- When we got the Easter pictures taken, the package came with some super cute Easter cards.

Unfortunately time was short because the colored chicks are only available for a short time before Easter, and I was crazy busy with stuff, and I had a hard time finding envelopes to fit the cards, (but with more and more people who make 4x6 photo greeting cards, you'd think there would be more of a demand for envelopes that fit- they're either too small or HUGE). I finally found the perfect envelopes, pretty colors even, but now I have quite the collection of brightly colored scalloped oval note cards (they came as a set).

But I had forgotten one thing-

Christopher had used all my stamps to decorate my kitchen island.

So, THREE trips to the grocery store later, in the attempt to buy stamps, I finally acquired some. Apparently it doesn't matter how big I write STAMPS!! on my shopping list, if it is not the only thing I allow myself to purchase, I will forget when I get to the register.

So, the Easter cards FINALLY went out today. Until then...

Happy Easter!!

So what's cuter than one cute little kid and a couple of baby animals?

How about 4 cute kids and a bunch of technicolor baby chicks?

Happy Spring!

Seriously, what could be cuter?

A beautiful spring day... a cute little girl... a couple of fuzzy baby animals...

(stay tuned Ü)

overheard

Zach- "Dad, how old is Ms. Pac-Man?"

John- "Um, I don't know. I think it came out when I was your age. Maybe Madison's. Sometime around then."

Zach- "Holy Cow! It's that old?!?! That's ancient!"

Catz update week 1 (again)

Are you people getting sick of this weight loss topic? Sorry. Unfortunately it's a big part of my life right now.

Okay so first all the drama of the last week.

B.Clark- (that's what we call him, his real name is Brian, but there are three Brian's that work there so they are B.Clark, B.Lee, etc) anyways- he's the cranky one and after I had taken it easy the month of March he was threatening me that my goals this time around were going to be super hard and be based off my ending weight last time (remember how I gained 5?) So I was a little scared to find out my goals. Last time it was 4 a week for a total of 28- I only lost 22.

So this time around?

Ready for this?

20. That's 2.5 a week.

I can do this!!!

Then, Chelsa and I got our butts chewed out this week by B. Clark. Chelsa, Glenda, and I have our own little support network. We try and work out together, share our victories, and our frustrations... Glenda is the one responsible for getting Chelsa and I to join, but she's all skinny now, and super busy, so I don't get to see her as much. Chelsa and I would try to sign up together. Working out with her makes time fly by faster.

(Chelsa had B. Clark take that picture- it was taken after our workout when we were all sweaty and gross and tired and I'm in pain- my knee is all iced up- more on that in a bit)

So Monday night we got yelled at. "I don't want you two working out together any more! If you have breath to chit-chat then you're not working hard enough!! You're a cancer to each other!" (we totally were working hard btw- as usual, I left sweaty, gross, and tired) - yes, you have to have a thick skin to work out there. He went on to say that it's really because he cares about how we are doing that he rides us so hard, because if he didn't care, he'd just take our money, and not care whether we were giving it 100%- ( Admittedly he used stronger language than that)

Last night I hurt my knee some how. I don't know how. There wasn't a moment when I wrenched it or anything, it was just bugging me in the morning, and all day, and the pain continued to grow worse throughout my workout. The trainers got me some ice and shrink wrapped it to my knee. I thought that was funny.

Those are my snazzy new shoes. My old ones were pretty sad. I went to a place where the guy evaluates how you walk and run and picks out the shoes that are the best fit for you. I was impressed.

So my results this week? 7 lbs. I made this week's goal, and next week's, and am like a pound away from week 3. Grand total lost so far this year? 25 lbs.

I'm icing my knee as I type, and am hoping that it won't bother me too much over the next few weeks. That 20 lb goal is attainable, provided I can walk and run and do lunges and squats and all that.

Oh! one other thing- this girl brought in "before" pictures of herself to share, and holy cow! She was only recognizable by her very distinctive long, red, curly hair. Apparently by coming to CATZ, she has lost 188 pounds! - (It took about 4 years)- If that's not motivation- I don't know what is.