Blogging Blahs

So much for my personal (if unpublished) goal of doing better at blogging.

I have a theory though.  I was just telling my mom about it today as she was saying "So, I'm going to be seeing my friend Kathy tomorrow.  You know she loves your blog and will probably ask me about it..."

My computer and I aren't exactly friends any more.

And this time it really is "It's not you, it's me..."

And it's not that I don't have stuff to talk about, because while I don't have TONS, I did want to write about stuff like-

Maddie's and my girl's trip to New York (which could easily be divided into at least 2 different posts- Church history, and New York City)

John's and my trip to Canada (back in July- also a good two different posts: Toronto and Niagara)

All the goofy stuff Christopher says

The orange creamsicle cupcakes I made for a women's church meeting (not here though, on my food blog)

The choir retreat I went on with Nick

I think there's even a post from our summer in Utah which is sitting unfinished, but months later it just feels awkward...

General updates on the kids

etc., etc., etc.,

Oh, and how much I hate Photoshop.

Cause, I really, really hate it. 

Ironically, I think that photoshop is one of the big reasons why I've been slacking here on the ol' blog.

So, the computer is no longer my friend.  I have to spend hours on it each week which leaves me frustrated, and feeling really stupid and with the strong desire to self medicate.  With things like apple fritters and Milk Duds and Coke from McDonalds.

And anytime I get on the computer I usually get off pretty quickly because I know that if I have time to blog, I have time to do my homework, and if  I don't, it adds to the general feelings of guilt I already deal with depending on which areas of my life are being neglected that week.

So yeah.  Avoidance.

Unbelievably I still have an A in the class.  I thought for sure I was going to bomb the midterm project.  Everyone else's was so much more involved and professional looking.  And mine was pretty basic and clumsy compared to theirs.  I think it's just cause the teacher is really nice and generous. Did I mention he was a Disney animator for years?

Of course this week instead of chucking my computer against the wall, I elected to turn in a half finished project, so I'm basically hoping for 50 out of 100 points this week.

And I am sad to say I can't see it getting any better the next few weeks.  Besides the fact that the course work will be getting harder, the Holidays are approaching, John will be gone for weeks on end a couple of different times in the near future, and then there's that whole bit where I try to take care of the house and kids...

I'd quit, but I think it's too late, and then I'd feel like a giant hypocrite cause I usually don't let my kids quit stuff cause "it's hard". Or they would rather do something else than put in the time (like practicing the piano).  So I'm sucking it up.

But on the drive home last night I was thinking about all this (school is about 30 minutes away) and how I feel stupid and I hate it, and when it comes to stuff like this I have no creativity or vision, then I started to think about writing and how I used to love to blog and create with words and pictures that way, and whatever happened there?

Anyway, I should go now before this desire to self-medicate just thinking about photoshop turns into me breaking into the Halloween candy.