I found this concept to be hilarious.
"What can I do to help?!" I asked.
I ended up bringing crackers with squirt cheese (that stuff in a can) and jello with mini marshmallows. Green jello. I didn't have a big enough jello mold, so I used a bundt cake pan. About two hours into the process, I figured out why nobody makes these things any more. Besides the fact that some might categorize it as "white trash food", It's fairly time consuming. If I'm going to spend that much time and effort on a dessert, I want it to be something really good. Like creme brulee. Those stupid marshmallows don't want to be suspended in the jello. They want to float on top. I poured through my jello cookbook, (yes, I have a jello cook book- go ahead and judge) but found nothing on suspending mini marshmallows. Apparently even the cookbook has it's pride. I'm sure there's a better way of doing it, but I spent the better part of an afternoon carefully spooning semi-set up jello and marshmallows into a mold, then chilling, then doing it all over again, and again, and again. I would have quit, but a) I promised, and b) I was not gonna let that stupid green goo get the best of me. I have my pride.
Anyway, it turned out well, people laughed, and I took home an empty tupperware lid (it served as my platter).
I stopped by their house earlier in the day to drop off a couple things, and ended up helping to "decorate". Tin foil in the windows, old Christmas lights barely hanging on, toys in the front yard, laundry still hanging on the clothes line. I was even happy to help supplement with a couple of items for the clothes line, including some long underwear, a semi broken truck (missing the door), and a broken rocking chair that I just can't seem to get rid of.
The rocking chair was mine as a little girl, my kids have all used it, and it has been repaired several times, but I think it has seen better days and the hoarder in me can't let it go.
And although they ended up playing music from Pandora, when her "white trash mix" CD wouldn't play, I offered to let her borrow a stack of CD's based on the music from that CD. Van Halen, Aerosmith, Garth Brooks, Guns N Roses....
Dressing up for the party was optional, but John and I decided to go for it. I couldn't help it, I amused myself too much to pass up the opportunity. Most of our costume items we had on hand, I did pick up some horrid fake fingernails at the mall (note to self- should I ever again find myself wanting to purposely wear horrid fake nails, don't use the super glue they come with. They are way harder to get off than those stupid Lee Press On Nails of the 80's, and you might end up with three very stubborn nails still on when you go to church two days later.) And John just happened to be in the Ohio airport talking to me on the phone when I was discussing costume ideas and happened to come across awesome matching t-shirts for us. Not matching, exactly, more like complimentary, different designs, but they both said "Nothing tips like a cow" only mine was yellow with green print, and his was green with yellow print. We both decided it was a shame we had no idea where to find one of those booths at the last minute that do air-brushed t-shirts. (I think it's a good bet they don't exist anymore.)
The rest of our costumes we found in our own closet. John dusted off his old mullet wig from the 80's party we threw several years ago, cut off an old pair of jeans (don't worry- he didn't ruin them, they already had a hole in the crotch) and pulled out his old cowboy boots. The cut-offs and boots were an awesome combination - btw. He even earned himself a new nickname- Joe Dirt.
I put my hair up in a scrunchie, was very heavy handed with the blue eyeshadow, dug out some old gold high heeled sandals (remnants from the 80's party) and found some temporary tattoos I had stashed away.
I was especially proud of the unicorn. I put it on my ankle. Which I thought was the perfect spot for it.
I also had a little yin-yang symbol kinda behind my left ear. My partially completed outfit drew some funny looks when I went in to pick up Madison at girl scouts. Only one person actually commented, she spotted the yin-yang symbol and asked if it was new. I explained about the party and her comment was something along the lines of "That explains the make-up."
Anyway, the party was super fun. I even unknowingly ate spam and liked it. Those of us who dressed up were definitely in the minority.
But afterwards I got to thinking about some of the comments made and other stuff, and how they hit a little close to home. Nothing mean, of course, but when you add everything up, I find myself a little closer to that "white trash" label than I thought. For starters, I was able to go scrounging in my garage for broken stuff to decorate with. Technically speaking, the truck is still perfectly good and is played with regularly, but still... Some comments made were -"Wow John! where did you get those boots? Are those Kirsten's?" (No, they were his from high school.) "I would have worn blue eyeshadow too, but I didn't have any." (for the record, my blue eyeshadow came in one of those palate things with lots of colors. It's actually quality make-up, a gift from a good friend, but I have to say my favorite part about the make-up are the names. Oil slick. Grifter. Last call. Mildew. Polyester bride. - Clearly I am easily entertained.)
And then there were the tattoos. That I bought from those coin machines at a grocery store. In 1995. (not an exaggeration) The unicorn was too awesome to throw away, and as long as I was keeping that one, who knew when a few temporary tattoos might come in handy?
jello cookbook...scrunchies (yes, plural)....blue eyeshadow...broken crap in garage...ugly gold high heeled sandals (think Peg Bundy)...16 year old tattoos...the CD's (in my defense- those are Johns)
