second chances

Have I shared with you that heart wrenching story from my childhood, the one where I didn't get to go to Disneyland? If so, I'm sorry, if not, here goes.
Once upon a time there was a girl.  

A girl with no musical or artistic ability whatsoever, and a desperate need for some art credit so she could graduate high school.

Now this girl had a lot of friends, she wasn't popular by any stretch of the imagination, so by "a lot" we are talking 10-15 people she associated with on a daily basis.  But she was part of a fun group she ate lunch with, and hung out on weekends with, etc.

Anyways, practically ALL of these friends were in choir, and the Senior choir was going to be going on a trip to Disneyland, and she was the ONLY one of the group of friends not going.

So, at the insistence of her friends, ("You TOTALLY have to try out!... It will be so much fun!... Mr Wendel lets ANYONE in, you should hear the girl next to me....The girl next to me is totally tone deaf, you should be in for sure....It will be so sad if you can't come...") and the fact she was desperate for an art credit, she tried out for Senior Choir.

So, she rehearsed for several minutes by singing along with "Phantom of the Opera" in her bedroom that weekend, then went in to (very literally) face the music.

It wasn't pretty.

But let me tell you what the worst part was. It was not how the teacher said, "Not only can I not put you in Senior Choir, I can't even put you in junior choir.  If you still want to be in choir, the best I can offer you is SOPHOMORE Girl's Chorus."  No, the disappointment in learning that she would not get to go to Disneyland with her friends, and facing a whole year as the only Senior in a class full of Sophomores, wasn't the worst part.  The worst part was the teacher's look of pain on his face as she sang.  He'd been the choir director for years, the school was a pretty big one, and choir was pretty popular, so you'd think after all these years, and the possibly thousands of auditions he'd sat through throughout the years, he'd get pretty good at keeping his emotions in check while listening to people like me, I mean, uh her, step out of their comfort zones and try something new.

And then she spent the year enduring questions like "Uh, aren't you a Senior?  Why are you in here?"

Stupid art credit.

Fast forward almost 20 years.

I realize it's not really the same, but I am finally making it to Disneyland on a field trip with a bunch of highschoolers.  Nick's orchestra is heading to California tomorrow, and it worked out that I get to be a chaperon.  And believe it or not, Nick is super happy to have me come. 

Yes, I still wished I could have been there with my friends, making memories and having fun, but I think having a front row seat to one of these experiences in my kids' lives comes in a close second.