Memory lane

I found this old post in my drafts folder.  I must have written it a few years ago and never published it for some reason.  Better late than never :)

Indulge me for a moment.

Looking for those old camping pictures brought back so many memories. Especially this one.

This is one of my favorites. (actually I love all those pictures. My pictures seem to turn out so much better up in the mountains.) But this one has a special place in my heart.

At one time I thought this little boy was autistic. So did his teachers, therapists, etc. I'd get the whole "Autism is a rainbow spectrum disorder." (meaning there are a million different things, issues, traits, etc that could place him on the spectrum and he would be labeled autistic.)

I don't think people think that any more. I'm not sure what was going on in that little brain of his, because he couldn't share it with me. When other kids his age were speaking in sentences, I would wake up in the morning and cry because I dreamt he said "mama".

Besides living in a silent little world, I think it was a world of fear, anxiety, and stress. It's written all over the sweet little face in these pictures. (and more) My heart still aches when I think of it.

And then one day, while vacationing in Utah, we planned a day trip to a lake with my dad. And in that canoe out there on that lake, surrounded by mountains and trees it all just melted away.

Fear was replaced with joy. Anxiety with peace.

For a short time anyway.

Of course, over time, things got better, and my little boy came back from wherever he'd been hiding inside his head, but still, seeing these pictures choke me up a little.