Life right now

hmmm. let's see. I've got nothing big to write about, so I'll just write about some of the little things.

- Christopher can now not only say his name correctly- he can spell it. All eleven letters. He's loving school right now. I can't even mention school until about 10 minutes before the bus comes, because he will be ready and waiting at the open door in about 5. He shakes with anticipation when he hears the bus come up the street. It's pretty cute.

-Nick has been home sick the last couple of days. I spent some of our time together attempting to give him somewhat of an impromptu musical education. We started with the Beatles, "They're an oldies group?", and I couldn't resist sharing Les Miserables. He likes the first half the best, too many people die in the last half. I knew he'd love it though. Being the little Orch-dork that he is. Ü Somehow I got a song stuck in my head, and had to listen to it while cooking some caramels. And Nick loved it. I have to get creative with entertaining myself while making caramels. I've read, played on my iphone, updated my facebook status, watched TV, and listened to music. (I can make caramels in my sleep- probably have to tell you the truth)

-Speaking of caramels, I've started spending at least a couple hours a day working on them. I never know how many to make for Christmas. I start compiling a list of friends, neighbors, family members, John's co-workers, and teachers that I'd like to give something to, but since I've started selling them, I have been getting frantic last minute phone calls (sometimes from people I don't even know) "Do you have an extra 10, 15, 20, or more bags that I could buy?" I spent all last December playing catch-up and I still think there were several family members that I never ended up sending caramels to, despite my best intentions. But it's frustrating because I need to plan ahead, except I have no concept of how much I am going to sell that year. Is this the year people get bored of them, and I will be stuck with more caramels than I know what to do with? Either way, if people want to buy them, or they don't, I just want to know. No offense if people don't, the money is fun, and I honestly love that people love them, but it's a lot of work.

-And the diet isn't going so well either. (big sigh) I'm not back where I started, but I seem to be ever so surely making my way back. "Starting tomorrow. I will work out 4-5 days a week, as opposed to the 2-3 I usually make it, even if my knees hurt and crunch with every lunge, and my shoulder feels like someone waggled an icepick in it, and even the act of putting on a sports bra makes me want to cry. And I will drink more water. And lay off my beloved Orange Creme hot cocoa, and those heavenly imported French baguettes that bake up in my oven in about a half an hour that I get from Costco. And eat more vegetables. Like salad. Even if diet dressing makes me gag. And I will not scrape out the bottom of my caramel pans, I will just put the pot into the sink and waste that last bit of gooey loveliness unless one of the kids are around to rescue me from it..." Dieting through the Holidays. That's my definition of Hell.

-John will be home for a whole week. Imagine that. They are (sorta) giving him the week of Thanksgiving off. They are letting him work from home. Then it will be back to business as usual.

I think that's about it. I've been working on this for 2 hours now- and also watching the Food Network (not a good idea when I'm trying to lose weight) Bobby Flay had a throw-down Thanksgiving Special with Ree Drummond (the Pioneer Woman- I've been following her blog for a couple of years now)

And I'm tired.

35 by 35

Normally I tell people I'm only 24 - and I am I going to be 24 forever (I gave my birthday to Madison since she was born on my 24th birthday) but technically speaking, this December it will be 35 years since the day I was born.

With that in mind, and the fact that I've thrown a good chunk of all the hard work I did losing weight last spring down the toilet, I decided I reasonable goal would be to lose 35 lbs by my 35th birthday. (Naturally I am starting at the weight I was last year on my birthday, so really I'm only looking at 16 more)

So 16 pounds in 2 1/2 months.

I think it's doable.

Wish me luck- I'm gonna need it. With no real weigh-ins to motivate me, it's a little easier to justify lunch with the girls, this "last piece of chocolate", skipping a workout cause I have a headache/am too busy/lazy/etc.

I did go workout this morning, but it was extra intense, and now my arms are waging a strike against me. I even have to stop and take breaks between sentences because lifting my arms to type makes my shoulders scream.

Catz week 8- final weigh in

So I showed up at Catz today with a bit of apprehension. The scale at home was not looking so good. I dressed in my thinnest, lightest clothes, shorts that I would have been embarrassed to be seen in anywhere but on a scale, and hoped for the best.

BClark was busy talking to someone else, so I stepped on the scale "just to see".

Aaaack! I was .2 pounds over my goal!!!! I'd gained 2 pounds in the last week! Luckily I was down so far last week, but still... and no, they won't round down. Point two pounds over is still over. I ran to the bathroom and let's just say I did my best to bring that weight down. Luckily I had Chelsa there- it was her idea to take off my glasses.

Thanks to her quick thinking, I was able to just barely squeak by and make my goal. The best news of all- I made my fat percentage goal as well, which means I made EVERY SINGLE GOAL!!!.

I am back to only a 38 pound loss, after telling the world I just lost 40 pounds. I wish I had the will power to stay on the diet and push for that 40 pound number again, but sadly I don't. There is a lot of chocolate calling my name. And a Tupperware full of lemony blueberry bars that I can't give away because I ruined them, despite the fact that they are still delish.

Catz update week 7

I was worried, but my body finally caught up with all the effort I've been putting in the last 3 weeks, and I lost 5 lbs this week.

5!!!!

I hit not one, but TWO milestones with that number.

I've lost a grand total of 40- I'm at a weight I haven't seen in over 8 years. The last time I saw this number, I found out only days later that I was pregnant with Zach.

And secondly, finally for the first time in at the very least our entire relationship, I weigh less than John. Apparently he's been finding all the weight I have been losing. For the first time EVER, I am not the fat spouse! (Except I am cause he still has at least 4 inches height on me)

And so when he came home from his last trip to Europe, I had to pause for a moment to contemplate the meaning, if any, behind the pile chocolate he brought back. Let me just mention that of the two of us, he is NOT the chocolate lover in the house. (and PS, that is only my share of the king size lion bars. The kids have already confiscated theirs)

Disclaimer: No, I don't actually think John is vindictive or in any way trying to sabotage my weight loss efforts. He just knows my love of real European chocolate and also knew that he wouldn't be allowed in the house after his trip without any. And to prove my point, after his last trip to NYC where he stopped at the Hershey store in Times Square, the kids got this-

And I got these.

Chocolate without the guilt. Ü

mother of the year nominations

Once again I deserve to be nominated.

Zach puked his brains out last night. He informed me this morning. Really, I guess he tried to make it to the toilet, but that kid has talent. It was everywhere. A nice dried up puddle in the middle of his bedroom, and all over the bathroom.

I've never seen devastation of it's equal. Walls, doors, etc. Talk about your projectile vomiting.

Anyway, he says he feels better.

Naturally I didn't send him to school, but selfishly I didn't want his being sick getting in the way of my plans for the day.

I had an appointment to go to catz at noon. Currently the time is 12:33, so clearly I didn't make it.

It's not that I didn't try though.

He's almost 8, he can be left home alone, right?

"Pick out a movie and get your blanket and pillow, and I'll be home before it's over." I was going to drop Christopher off at someone else's house. He isn't showing any signs of sickness. I was just gonna cross my fingers and pray he doesn't get sick and I had passed along the germs to an unsuspecting family.

I wouldn't have been so determined to work out except I have to weigh in tomorrow. I need to lose 3 more pounds to meet all my goals, and next week is gonna be rough. It's my last week, but I'll be having surgery Wednesday morning, and so I'm not allowed to exercise for a few days afterwards. (I asked) Add that to the fact they will be screwing in a titanium rod into my jawbone, and although I've never experienced that before, I am guessing that chewing isn't going to be on my list of things I'll be wanting to do. Last time I had any invasive procedures done in my mouth, all I wanted was the cold, numbing comfort of a chocolate shake. And those are so NOT on the catz diet.

I can't reschedule for later, the classes are full, and besides, Nick has his end of year concert for orchestra tonight.

So noon was my ONLY option for getting in one last good workout. As they would say on Biggest Loser- my "Last Chance Workout." I got my gym clothes on, cleaned up Christopher, grabbed my purse and a water bottle, said my goodbyes to Zach, and headed for the door. At which point he burst into tears. I should have known. This is the same kid who can't handle being alone upstairs for 5 minutes. Alone in a whole house for an hour and a half? Impossible!

So I tried to bribe him- I pulled out a fresh $5 bill and said, "You be brave and stay home alone and I'll give you this." He cried harder.

I ended up cancelling.

An hour later he's still crying.

Now it's because I won't give him the money anyway. It's not often I give my kids the opportunity to earn easy money. He was gonna earn $5 for watching TV for an hour and a half. He only makes about $3.50 a week doing his chores, and that's IF he gets the Saturday chores done before noon. (which has been amazingly impossible lately.)

Catz update week 6

so, uh, no change.

I weigh EXACTLY the same as last week.

1??.1 pounds

Still on track as far as goals go, but I get a little discouraged when I don't see my hard work pay off.

Especially since I had a couple really hard workouts this week and sitting on a toilet was once again pretty difficult.

BClark says I'm not eating enough.

He asked to see my diet. "A handful of almonds and pineapple is NOT a meal!" "You need more lean proteins!" "Where are your vegetables?!?"

So the plan this week is to eat more.

I confess to being sick of this.

Sick of low sodium turkey. Sick of salad with diet dressing. Sick of egg whites. And so I am probably not eating enough because I can't get too enthused about what goes on my plate or in my mouth.

I'm not saying I want a hamburger or anything (gag, barf) but a piece of toast with homemade jam and a glass of orange juice would be nice.

2 more weeks.

Except, I'm not even halfway to my long term goal.

35 down, 45 to go.

That is a lot of low sodium turkey over the next few months.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that 2 days before my final weigh in I will be having oral surgery to have that titanium rod screwed into my jawbone. I think I have to make my final goal by next week, because I am pretty sure I won't be driving myself to the gym all hopped up on percocets, and I have a sneaking suspicion (judging by how much fun I had the last time at the oral surgeon) the only thing I will be eating for a couple days are popcicles and chocolate shakes. Sadly, I don't even think I will enjoy it. That much sugar sounds gross. (yes, I just said that)

catz update week 5

Do you watch 'Biggest Loser'?

I do.

This is my first year watching it, but I'm pretty obsessive about it. Mostly because I can sorta relate. I started going to Catz the same week this season started on that show. I like to check out what exercises they are doing. The other night they were pushing big weight plates across the floor. I got excited because sometimes I have to do that. I HATE pushing weight plates across the floor. It sucks.

Anyway, that's not why I brought it up- at the end of the week they have to weigh in (luckily I don't have to weigh in in front of everybody) and sometimes their numbers are good, and sometimes not so good. One week someone might drop 10 lbs, and the next- 1. And they stand there on the scale saying things like "I don't get it. It doesn't make sense. I worked so hard..."

And I wanna laugh, because it's like "Welcome to my life.'

I have good weeks, and I have not so good weeks, and some of the time it is NOT representative of how hard I worked. Even before, when I was on Weight Watchers- some weeks I'd lose 4, and then the next week .25, and yeah, it sucks. We like pay offs. We like to see the results of our labors.

Unfortunately weight loss isn't always like that. For me anyway. I'll plateau for a few weeks, then have a big loss, then plateau for awhile again, etc. Unfortunately it's the plateaus that get me. It gets so frustrating to see the numbers on the scale get stuck, or worse, go up! Even when I'm doing everything right.

So, as you have probably guessed, this was a not-so-good-week. Not bad, but not great either.

One pound loss.

But I expected it. Not because I cheated a teeny bit last weekend, but because my numbers were so good last week. I even worked out MORE this week than last. Added a couple extra workouts- going to my other gym, walking with a friend... but still, I've been around the ol' diet block enough to know that my body likes to balance things out.

One good week, a couple not so hot weeks. One good week, a couple weeks where I struggle.

I'm just giving myself a little pep talk here. Keep pushing and hopefully I'll see more results. I'm just glad that when I do have a "not so great" week, there's no yellow line for me to fall below and therefore get kicked out of the program like on Biggest Loser.

Catz update week 4

It was a good week.

Knees still bothered me, but for whatever reason the weight loss stars were aligned.

(drum roll please)

This week- 6 lbs.
Current challenge total- 16 lbs.
Year to date- 34 lbs.

In addition, I'm pretty stoked about the fact that while I only made 3 out of 8 of my goals last challenge, even though it's only 4 weeks into this challenge, I've already made 6 of my goals. (granted they are easier this time around) What that means is that I have earned a bunch of credits to be able to work out for free (or at a considerably reduced price) this summer. I'm not sure what our schedule is going to be like this summer, how long we will spend in Utah, or whether or not I will get to tag along with John on any trips, but I am fairly certain I won't be signing up for the next challenge. (cause you have to be around for all of it) So being able to work out for free when I am in town would be awesome. (hopefully I won't undo too much of my hard work! Ü)

catz update week 3

One pound. (loss)

I'm okay with that though. It's been one of those weeks. My biggest fear going in there today was that the scale was going to show I gained.

Not that I ate badly. Not really anyway. It was just my stupid knees. I'd suffer through an hour at Catz, not able to give it my all, worried I was going to really mess up a knee, going slower than usual, modifying exercises... then come home and sit on the couch and ice my knee.

Then there's that one law of physics that rears it's ugly head regularly in my life "An object in motion tends to stay in motion, an object at rest tends to stay at rest." Unfortunately I've been exemplifying the last part of that more often lately. All that sitting around and icing my knees and stuff. Now I'm half way through with my book club book, and I am caught up on my DVR'd shows, and have enjoyed a few Robert Downey jr. flicks this last week as well (both old and new. I've been on a kick.)

Usually I try to fit in a few extra walks to Sprouts to pick up fresh fruit and veggies. That didn't happen this week. Which leads me to the second part of my not-so-good week, without a stocked fridge, I've had a hard time finding things to eat. So nearly every day I have cheated an eaten Special K meal bars. They really aren't that bad. 180 calories. 10 grams of protein. But they are still on the no-no list.

I'm determined to do better this week. I've made all my goals so far, but 14 more pounds in 5 weeks is gonna be tough.

catz update

I'll keep this short and sweet.

My knee is still hurting me, I'm hobbling and wincing through workouts, but I'm not sure what I want to do about it. Just like the time that I went to the doctor about my knees several years ago, I'm hoping that the answer to my knee issue is "You're fat. Lose weight."

anyway- the numbers-

This week- 2 lbs loss
current challenge total- 9 lbs
year to date weight loss- 27 lbs.

Catz update week 1 (again)

Are you people getting sick of this weight loss topic? Sorry. Unfortunately it's a big part of my life right now.

Okay so first all the drama of the last week.

B.Clark- (that's what we call him, his real name is Brian, but there are three Brian's that work there so they are B.Clark, B.Lee, etc) anyways- he's the cranky one and after I had taken it easy the month of March he was threatening me that my goals this time around were going to be super hard and be based off my ending weight last time (remember how I gained 5?) So I was a little scared to find out my goals. Last time it was 4 a week for a total of 28- I only lost 22.

So this time around?

Ready for this?

20. That's 2.5 a week.

I can do this!!!

Then, Chelsa and I got our butts chewed out this week by B. Clark. Chelsa, Glenda, and I have our own little support network. We try and work out together, share our victories, and our frustrations... Glenda is the one responsible for getting Chelsa and I to join, but she's all skinny now, and super busy, so I don't get to see her as much. Chelsa and I would try to sign up together. Working out with her makes time fly by faster.

(Chelsa had B. Clark take that picture- it was taken after our workout when we were all sweaty and gross and tired and I'm in pain- my knee is all iced up- more on that in a bit)

So Monday night we got yelled at. "I don't want you two working out together any more! If you have breath to chit-chat then you're not working hard enough!! You're a cancer to each other!" (we totally were working hard btw- as usual, I left sweaty, gross, and tired) - yes, you have to have a thick skin to work out there. He went on to say that it's really because he cares about how we are doing that he rides us so hard, because if he didn't care, he'd just take our money, and not care whether we were giving it 100%- ( Admittedly he used stronger language than that)

Last night I hurt my knee some how. I don't know how. There wasn't a moment when I wrenched it or anything, it was just bugging me in the morning, and all day, and the pain continued to grow worse throughout my workout. The trainers got me some ice and shrink wrapped it to my knee. I thought that was funny.

Those are my snazzy new shoes. My old ones were pretty sad. I went to a place where the guy evaluates how you walk and run and picks out the shoes that are the best fit for you. I was impressed.

So my results this week? 7 lbs. I made this week's goal, and next week's, and am like a pound away from week 3. Grand total lost so far this year? 25 lbs.

I'm icing my knee as I type, and am hoping that it won't bother me too much over the next few weeks. That 20 lb goal is attainable, provided I can walk and run and do lunges and squats and all that.

Oh! one other thing- this girl brought in "before" pictures of herself to share, and holy cow! She was only recognizable by her very distinctive long, red, curly hair. Apparently by coming to CATZ, she has lost 188 pounds! - (It took about 4 years)- If that's not motivation- I don't know what is.

Back on the diet wagon

I had my initial weigh in yesterday for the next challenge at Catz.

I spent the last 4 weeks eating whatever I wanted. It was great.

But like all good things, it had to come to and end and I had to face the consequences of my choices. In other words, the scale. And the trainers.

I was asked once if they (the trainers) are supportive at all, and yes, they are, to a certain extent. One is a little more encouraging and supportive than the other, (high fives at the scale and at the end of a hard work out) and the other is a little crankier. After all, I am paying them to help me lose weight. If I don't lose weight, they fail too, and so they are a little tough on us.

To illustrate, I overheard a conversation where one girl was accusing him of being mean or strict or something. "What are your goals?" he said. "If your goals are just to get some exercise, then great, you're doing awesome, but if you want to lose weight, then, yeah, I'm going to be a little tough on you."

So any guesses as to how much I've gained?

Any brave souls willing to venture a guess?

No? (smart choice- John just guessed 10- he's in the dog house.)

Only 5.

(I was actually pleasantly surprised)

So Food Vacation's over. 8 more weeks.

The only downside is that (hopefully) my maternity swimsuit won't fit any more and I'll have to buy a new one and I LOATHE swimsuit shopping.

~~~~
This post brought to you by the makers of Girl Scout cookies, Sweet's Cinnamon Bears, Cornish Pasty Co., Paradise Bakery, Camelot Cooking Club, Sprout's bread, Einsteins, churros from Disneyland, Coke, and any of the chocolates that John brought home from his various trips.

Catz update week 8!!!!

Woo-hoo! I made it! (I'm sure I'm not the only one who doubted I could)

Sorry there's no pictures. They didn't take any "afters" this morning, and I wasn't about to ask about it. (I really, really, hate having my picture taken) I figured maybe at the end of the next session. Or the next. Or the next.

Any way- the numbers- Another 4.6 lbs lost for a grand total of 22 1/2.

Also, and although I don't have the numbers in front of me- I lost a few inches off my hips and waist and such. And I made my body fat percentage goal. Which was like 4 percent or something.

And yes, I feel better and stronger. Well, not today of course. I just ate half a tube of thin mints and am feeling positively sick to my stomach.

Sorry this took so long to post. I was busy today. I had lots of eating to do. Girl scout cookies. Einsteins. Lunch out with a friend. Grocery shopping for things like gnocchi.

Catz update week 7

It was definitely a better week.

4.1 pounds!! For a grand total of (drumroll please) 18 pounds!!

I was crossing my fingers, and hoping for 3, but would have been happy with 2.

It's been a tough week food wise. I cheated and ate 2 girl scout cookies. No, it was 3. Not the Samoas or the Thin Mints. I think I worry that once I start with those, I won't be able to stop. But I really wanted to try one of the new cookies. It's a white chocolate cranberry one. I still wasn't sure, so I had to try it again. I liked them, but not loved them. I prefer my Cran-Orange White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookies better. Also the kids left an open package of the lemon ones on the table, and before I knew it, there was a cookie in my mouth.

But I did not purchase the icecream, even though I really, really, really wanted to.

So this is my very last week. (for now) I think there will be another challenge in a month. I would really, really, really like to lose another 20 lbs before summer. I haven't seen numbers on the scale like that since before Zach came along. All in all, I think I'd like to lose 60-80 lbs this year. (I'd have to lose 90 to get down to my pre-baby body, so I think 60-80 is fairly reasonable)

I've seen these numbers on the scale loads of times. The only difference between this time and the last few times is I am noticing a little more muscle. I have shoulder muscles. Who knew?

Next week, if I am brave, I will post pictures. Before and After. I am fairly certain I will still hate my "After", and probably not even show my family.

as if this weren't hard enough

I have cases of Girl Scout Cookies in my house.

catz update - week 6

The numbers were not so good this week.

.2

Yes, that's correct- oh-point-two pound loss.

If I were the optimistic sort of person, I would quote an old weight watchers leader- "A quarter of a pound! That's a stick of butter!" But, I'm not.

I could take comfort in the muscles that I am noticing under the fat on my arms. I'm actually getting shoulder muscles. But it's easier to focus on the fat that's hiding them.

But, I'm still really frustrated. I'm smack dab in the middle of my yo-yo zone that I've been in for the last 8 years.

I've been gaining and losing the same 20 pounds for 8 years. That includes 2 pregnancies.

And just so you know, nursing does not help me lose weight. I GAIN while nursing. I HATE people who say "All I did was nurse for 6 months, and the weight fell right off" I wanna punch them in their flat abs.

I don't know how it's possible to sit around all day while feeling completely ravenous 24 hours a day and lose weight.

I got off on a tangent there. Anyway, I was really hoping that this Catz thing would help me to break through this cycle I've been on. I can't seem to drop past a certain number. I was hoping to knock it out of the ballpark and never look back. It doesn't look like that's going to happen this month.

Sorry. I'm just cranky and venting.

I'll pick myself up, dust myself off, make myself a salad and drag myself to the gym. Go Team.

Catz update- week 5

I did better than last week- but not what I was hoping for of course. 2.3 pounds. For a grand total of 14. That's where I wanted to be last week. Half way through this challenge. Not 5 weeks into a 8 week challenge.

If I were able to meet my goals every week, I would have lost 28 pounds. That number was pretty exciting. And then I had that great week, and Glenda said "wow! I bet you lose 35 pounds- EASY." and then the number in my head jumped to 35, and the end result picture of myself in my head was looking pretty dang good.

With just three weeks left, that 28 pound loss is fast becoming beyond my reach. (35 evaporated a week ago) Now I am praying for 25, but worrying it might be only 20.

I know, I know. Realistic goals. blah blah blah. And what's that phrase? "Slow and steady wins the race"?

At first I balked at the 4 pound a week goal. "4 pounds? are you serious? doesn't everybody say a healthy weight loss is one to two pounds a week?"

But then I thought, "maybe by giving up breads and stuff, which I have NEVER done before, maybe, just maybe, it is doable."

And so although only 6 weeks ago, I would have been thrilled with a two pound loss in a week, this week I am a little frustrated.

Big picture. yeah, yeah. I know. That's what the guy who weighed me in and tries to kill me on a nearly daily basis said today.

I'm still shooting for 6 pounds next week. I've added extra workouts to my schedule and substituted some of the yummy fruits (my only edible joy) for more vegetables in my diet.

It sucks eating solely for fuel rather than pleasure. Speaking of which, I am eagerly anticipating the arrival of a new cookbook from Amazon any day now. Rose Levy Berenbaum's "Rose's Heavenly Cakes". It's all the rage on food blogs these days. I had to get it.

I just had a disturbing realization. (and please stop reading now if you are easily offended- no seriously, stop reading now, I mean it)

All these food blogs, and cookbooks, and magazines are like food porn to me. I can't have it, so I just want to look at the pictures and fantasize about eating all those cakes and cookies and pies and tarts and potatoes and pasta and chocolate (I actually took a candy bar out of a friend's purse so I could smell it- we were standing there talking and it was sticking out- and I couldn't help myself. I didn't want to cheat and eat it, I just wanted to hold it and smell it.)

See? I told you. Disturbing.

At Catz

Last week I was asked what exactly I do at Catz. I spent the week trying to surreptitiously take some pictures with my iphone, but they didn't turn out so well. I was afraid I'd get yelled at or at the very least ridiculed, because almost anything is ridicule worthy in their (the trainers) eyes.

For instance, last week, some of the ladies were talking about Gray's Anatomy and how the station messed up and played 7 minutes of Private Practice in the middle of Gray's Anatomy and then kept interrupting with the weather report. Apparently the TV station thought the fact that a tornado was threatening the valley was more important than the fictional drama going on in a hospital hundreds of miles away. So- one of the trainers turned down the music and insisted on hearing all about it. (they don't like it when we can talk, that means we're not working hard enough)

So, a typical hour class at Catz goes something like this- First 15 minutes running and stretching. We do laps on the indoor track that runs the length of the room. One lap forwards, the next we run backwards, (it's a miracle I haven't fallen down yet- I am horribly uncoordinated.) Then we skip, and side shuffle, and on and on, until finally we get to slow down and do lunges the whole way down. And then finally a series of stretches as we walk the length of the track (that's my favorite part)

Then we get divided up into groups for the rest of the hour and we do "stations" for a minute until he yells "switch!" I'm always with the older, less fit crowd. Sometimes I have to watch high school teams work out. Nothing makes you feel old and out of shape than trying (and failing) to do the same intensity as a 16 year old girl. While she talks and giggles away like she was doing nothing more than getting her nails done. Lunges and squats can always be expected, and generally in conjunction with some kind of weight- dumbbells, medicine balls, sand bags.

Yesterday we did a "bear crawl" where you walk on your hands and feet, with dumbbells in your hands. So tough.

At any rate, I come home sweaty and exhausted. And generally speaking, there's always some part of my body that hurts. Today it's the muscles in the side of my neck. I didn't know I had muscles there or what I did to hurt them.

Well, I had better go. I have to figure out what to eat before I head to yet another Catz class. I'm supposed to eat 5 small meals a day. It's 4 pm, and this will be number 3. Eating has lost it's appeal lately.

Catz update week 4

I only lost one pound this week. 0.9 pounds to be exact. I needed to lose 1.3 to make my weekly goal.

While the positive person would see that, and think, "wow! a whole pound! that's great!" I see $75 going down the toilet.

I paid $250 to do this. I used some of my caramel money I made during Christmas.

Every week that I make my goal, I get $25 Catz credit towards more classes. 8 x 25 = $200. If I make all eight goals I get a $50 bonus. If I make my body fat percentage goal, I get another $50.

The plan was to get enough credit to do this again FOR FREE.

Not that my kids are happy about that idea. It's REALLY hard to cook when I can't eat anything or am too exhausted to even think about it. And you can forget about baking. Sometimes I think maybe I will make them a small batch of cookies, but I haven't quite been able to bring myself to test myself like that yet.

But at any rate, I lost both the weekly $25 credit, and the bonus. I can still hope for the body fat percentage goal, but I am sure like everything else, it's a difficult goal to make because at the end of the day, they are a business.

So what went wrong?

I don't know. I worked out 4 times at Catz this week instead of just 3.

I didn't cheat, despite what the trainer accused me of. But I couldn't defend myself because I didn't write anything down like I'm supposed to.

Plateau? Maybe.

I am however going to blame part of it on the fact that it's "that time of the month". I'm feeling all bloaty and yucky. (TMI?) That's gotta be worth 0.4 pounds right?

Here's hoping for a better week next week.

Catz update week 3

I only lost 2 pounds. 1.7 actually. For a grand total of about 11. (so sue me, I'm rounding up)

-But-

I still made goal for this week because of my huge loss last week.

Also, because of said huge loss I kindof expected it. It was actually about what I was hoping for, even though I didn't cheat at all.

Once or twice I only ate 4 meals though (instead of the 5 a day) and my water intake can definitely be improved. I started to find that with the absence of grains in my belly there was nothing to soak up the water and consequently I had to pee about 5 minutes after I drank anything. Really Annoying.

Also, I had a couple days where I wanted to medicate with food, (I'm an emotional eater) and I didn't. So props to me.

So next week I only need to lose 1.3 pounds to make goal. Hopefully more. I like having a nice buffer.