The unrequited crush

In Madison's first year of pre-school she had a crush on Tyler. He was a cute, shy blonde boy.

In her second year of pre-school it was Seth.

I forget who was the object of her offection in kindergarten.

And I am not allowed to name any names past that point because she still goes to school with most of them.

The point is, there is usually a boy out there that Madison has the hugest crush on, but I am always sworn to secrecy when it comes to his identity. Madison would die of embarrassment rather than let her school crush know she likes him.

I get that.

I was the exact same way.

All through elementary school I would have a new crush every year. In jr high and high school, I liked several boys at the same time, sometimes one more than others, but there was ALWAYS at least one.

And I mostly never told them. They might have been able to figure it out, because I wasn't the smoothest operator. - Like when I would strategically plan to shut my locker just as a certain cute boy would walk by, knowing he'd talk to me on the way to English class.

But mostly I was a big fat chicken. Didn't ask boys to dances, nothing. I understood just how George, the dad, felt in Back to the Future when he said "I just don't think I can take that kind of rejection". And sometimes I would have a thing for one of my "guy friends". In my head it was worth more to me to keep them as friends, than gamble to find out if we could ever be more than just friends. No regrets, though, I am still friends with most of my high school guy friends. No, I take that back, I regret not putting myself out there a little more and asking guys to some of the girls choice dances. Live and learn, I guess.

But I still have to tease Madison a little with her crushes.

The other day in the car she was relating a story to me how they got to play Red Rover at school. (She actually tried explaining the rules as if I had never heard of that game before.- Hello! That was my favorite! In my head I totally rocked that game.)

Anyway, she told me how it was gross when she had to hold boys' hands.

"Did you ever get to hold (insert name of current crush here)'s hand?"

Her silence caused me to look at her in my rear view mirror and see her fighting a smile and a slight blush to her cheeks.

Finally she answered- "Twice. But it was all sweaty."