The tooth fairy

I think I'd like to lodge a complaint. Our tooth fairy seems is pretty unreliable. A tooth can sit under a pillow for DAYS before the tooth fairy stops by.

Every morning it's the same sad little story. "The tooth fairy didn't come again."

Of course by the time the tooth fairy does bother to show up, the kids generally get a bonus or interest or whatever for the pain and suffering of having to wait so long.

Personally, I think Nick is the one that's gypped. He's done losing teeth, and his tooth fairy was a heck of a lot more reliable. (so he always got the same basic price for his teeth)

Of course thinking about this, a billion thoughts and questions concerning the whole matter are running around in my head.

What does the tooth fairy look like? Is it a he or a she? Is she small like Tinkerbell, in which case how does she get the tooth out from under that pillow and carry all that money around? According to that kid on Jerry Maguire, doesn't the human head weigh like 8 pounds? Wouldn't that be like 800 pounds to a little Tinkerbell sized fairy? So how the heck do they get that little tooth out from under the pillow with an 800 pound boulder laying on top of it? We used to have a little tooth pillow, but that got lost. So we're back to the old stand-by of sticking that little tooth under the pillow.

Or is he like the tooth fairy in that movie The Santa Clause 2? Of course the thought of a big stranger guy wearing fairy wings wandering around in my kids' rooms at night doesn't make me too happy. Except if I remember correctly, if you catch him you get a wish, but I don't see how that would happen since you never know which night he'll show up.

They must want those teeth pretty badly if they are willing to sneak around bedrooms at night, rifling around under pillows, and risk waking up the sleeping occupants, just to pay good money for those little teeth.

It doesn't sound like a job I would want. Sure, the flying around might be cool, but what happens if you get caught?

Anyway, that tooth fairy should probably be fired anyway. It's to the point where if she comes the first night, my kids are disappointed because they didn't get as much money.