new years resolutions

Okay, so I'm feeling a little better. When I looked at my list 6 things I set out to accomplish last year, I started feeling a down on myself. One of my problems is that I need to quantify things. I can't just say "do better" or "be more organized" or "exercise more". Those things are totally subjective. How do I know how well I did if there is not a number (52 books, 50 pounds) or words like always, never, or every day?

And what about the stuff not on the list? Do ONLY those 6 things count? It took a couple of days, and but I started mentally compiling a list of things I did accomplish and other memorable moments.

For starters, I started this blog. I didn't think I would keep up with it for more than a week or two, and now it's nearly a year later, and I'm pretty proud of it to tell you the truth. When I was younger I was really good at writing in a journal every night, mostly trivial things, boys and stuff, but I was really good about writing something almost every day. I filled volumes. Hundreds of pages. Then I got married and had kids. I tried to keep a journal, but most of those entries started out something like "Jan 1, 2000, well Y2K was a big let down. Sorry I know it's been awhile since I've written, but I will try to do better. New years resolutions- lose weight and write in journal every day." Then I would detail the highlights of the past year, promise myself again to do better about writing, then the next journal entry would start "Jan 1, 2001...." My point is is that doing better about journaling wasn't on last year's official list, but I'm totally still counting it.

This first blog was so rewarding for me I started a second one. My plan for that is to write down the recipes and the stories, include some pictures and some failures, and maybe someday I will bind it up in a book and make copies for my kids when they grow up and move out. My mom says she wants a copy too. Seems fair since half of the recipes I got from her.

In 2008 I got my very first passport, and got the opportunities to see more of the world than I really ever thought I would. I stood on the observation deck of the Empire state building, I rode on the top of a double decker bus all over London, I saw Victor Hugo's grave, and listened to Big Ben chime on the hour. I rode on a segway all over Paris, toured a real castle in Germany, and stared down into the cavernous hole where the twin towers once stood. I ate at a sidewalk cafe on a street in Paris, saw Les Mis in London, watched kids play on that huge piano keyboard from the movie BIG, and stood where Nazi prisoners were tortured and died. Those kinds of experiences can't be quantified.

I made new friends, and found old ones. That counts for a heck of a lot in my book.

There were other things, but it is past midnight, and I am tired and so I can't quite remember them.

I know that John will be happy to read this, and will remind me of this for the rest of the year, but thinking about how New year's resolutions generally make me feel, and how they don't really accurately depict whether or not I was a failure that year, or whether or not it was wasted, so my goal this year is simple- I will try to be less critical of myself. I will add to that a list of things that I would like to do, but won't quantify it in any way. In 2009, I would like to be healthier, get more exercise, be more organized, try new recipes more often, read, travel, take a class or learn something new, laugh more, be a better mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.