Cheaper than Therapy

So it's that time of year again- Prom. The magical time of year when the wait time at the Olive Garden has doubled and you are left waiting for your table while you try to divert your eyes from girls in dresses who clearly who have no concept of what's flattering on their bodies.

A friend of mine posted her old prom pics a week or so ago, and those old "blasts from the past" are always good for a laugh. I left a comment warning her I might steal that idea, lamented the fact that John's old pictures were probably landfill years ago, and went and dug out my pictures out of a dusty old shoe box in the back of my closet. And then I tried to laugh, but somehow felt slightly nauseous instead.

And then as I started penning this post in my head, it became clear to even me that I still had some unresolved issues I never really got over. And what I had meant to be a funny, lighthearted post, wasn't so funny any more.

I figured I had three choices

1) do nothing. No pictures, no mention of prom, nothing. Find something else to talk about.

2) Post only the pictures, and maybe a comment or two, and that's it.

3) Let it all out.

I'd like to apologize in advance. I picked #3.

For several reasons. For starters I have nothing else to talk about. I have a self imposed quota of 20 posts a month, and with 4 days left in April, I am only at 18. Something really interesting better happen soon, or else I am going to be blogging about the bus we saw run off the side of the road (I have pictures) or my equally fabulous idea- "Ode to my pajama pants". (Just a warning, I still might do that one)

I could have picked #2, but editing is not one of my strong suits. I'm the Queen of the run-on sentence, the Duchess of "Leave no story left untold", The Goddess of "Too Much Information"...

And so #3 it is.

Plus, it's cheaper than therapy.

This was the first dance I ever went to. I realize it wasn't exactly "Prom", but as the only dance I ever got asked to it needs to be mentioned. I have several comments about this picture- It was taken in my parents living room. They made us pose for pictures. I think the sippy cup lid on the floor is pretty funny. I just now noticed it. I must have been too distracted with my exquisitely lady like stance to have seen it before. And I have no words for those earrings, except maybe "Yikes".

My date happened to actually be my boyfriend at the time. We broke up a couple weeks later. He was a putz. (Other words come to mind, but I'm trying to keep it clean).

This next picture was actually Prom. The other girl in the picture is my BFF Jamie and her boyfriend at the time. She wanted to go to Prom, but wanted to go with a group. She and Whatshisname spent a lot of time together and so she felt that prom would be funner if they went with another couple. Enter me, The Best Friend, who can't say no. Only problem was, I didn't have a date. So she set me up. Honestly, it was a tad on the humiliating side. It didn't help that he was the only one NOT in a tux. He was doing Jamie a favor, and it wasn't his high school so it didn't matter to him that he totally stood out in his light colored suit.

So that's it. My entire high school dance history.

And yes, the argument could be said that there were plenty of Girl's Choice dances, but I have a somewhat lame excuse for that. There was this one time that I did ask someone. He was just a friend. Only he said no. He got another offer from a girl he liked a couple days later. And I couldn't really blame him. When I try to see it from his point of view - a 17 year old boy who has to choose between a friend and the girl he likes, it's kind of a no brainer. Still, I won't lie. It stung. I never asked anyone out again.

So I know this sounds all pathetic, and whiny, and wah-wah, and all that, and I know that I have since found my Prince Charming, and have my "Happily Ever After" and none of this actually matters any more, and maybe if we had gone to the same school and were "♥high school sweethearts♥" (cause we would have been) and I if felt possessed to post those retro pics, I would be making every one else a little nauseated with our teenage ooey-gooey, lovey-doveyness. So, really you can all thank your lucky stars that didn't happen.

"....And like this is me and John at Sadie Hawkins....and like, you know, this is like us at like Senior Ball and like I think my dress was like, you know, perfect....and ooooh! Like here we are at Winter Formal! (that was like the night I just like knew we were, gonna like, you know, B 2gether 4ever)..."